Lost and confused
Hi again!! I am back for some needed advice or suggestions even or maybe just to vent my frustrations out! Haha. I have received some GREAT advice from here before so it's a wonderful tool. Thank you.
I won't bore you with the full story, you can search my name and see but ill recap it a bit!
Basically, I have been dating my guy for close to 3 years. He is Indian. I am Canadian. We met during our time working for a cruise line. I left the job in 2016 and came back to Canada. He continued the job and we kept the relationship going through distance. In the beginning, we discussed everything and it seemed that we were ON the same page. Now I know the family value in India. He is the only son he has the responsibility of taking care of his parents. WHICH I never disrespected or said no too. I loved him enough and trusted in us to blend together. And we were doing so well and it felt like we could make this life work together.
We have fallen apart in these last few months though. I really needed him during some family issues but he wasn't there. I went through a dark moment. A very low moment in my life. He made me feel like what I was going through was no big deal and to get over it basically. Which always seems like that. My feelings don't seen to have value anymore. Then I came time find out that his parents and himself are already deciding that they won't like Canada. He says his parents are too old and they don't be able to adjust to Canadian life. And they also said that they would only spend maybe a month or two at a time. And he also said that if they aren't happy and want us to move to India then we need to move..
So it just feels like we fell off the same page. I'm thinking we are building this life in this chapter. And he has jumped so far ahead into the future and the what ifs are all over his head. Now this has caused some issues.
And we hadn't seen each other for more than 10 months. But we just finished a 2 week visit together.
It was so so. The first week was rough. He complained so much. He commented my weight and why I quit the gym. He was complaining of my grandmas house and how bored he was. We spent 5 nights in a airbnb. Then went to visit family in my hometown before going to my parents in my current town. I thought I planned the things nicely. But it wasn't enough. I am also down and low about my weight so his comments hurt even more. It was just terrible.
We then went to my parents and things calmed down. But still it felt like something was off. He barely said I love you to me and that hurt. I need that confirmation of affection or love. Whichever it is called. But I need that. Esp right now. Even at the mall or store, he never reached for my hand. I made a comment and still he never did for me.
And he never tagged any posts or photos of us.. I even got a low point when I was so mad at him one day that I deleted him from facebook, deleted my posts from Instagram and blocked him from Instagram. I know a childish move but I was SO mad. And it still doesn't seem to bother him. But my social media always needs to have him and I in the display picture and I always post sweet posts of him. He never does for me. Again, childish I know. But I like those small gestures and in distance, there isn't much else but that. You know?
Anyways.. He now left for home. And still, never messages that he loves me. Or misses me.. Nothing like that. I told him I was unhappy. And instead he messages me rudely. He says he has enough stress at home and if I can't help him then don't add more stress. That he has no power to make me understand the things. And he also said don't give me stress or make me mental.. And Just feels like lack of support and it hurts me.
Just I want to feel love. Is that wrong? Am I asking for too much??
I know that its easy to say be done. To leave him. But it's hard. I don't know what I'm waiting for.. Maybe I am hoping that someone will knock some sense into him? Or maybe someone needs to knock sense into me hahaha. I don't know.
Just any suggestions? Ideas? Or maybe come knock some sense into me hahaha.
I’m sorry, but he seems like he wants to break up but doesn’t have the courage or time to do it.
So make it easy for him and do it. You may hear a sigh of relief.
If you are important to him, you will hear and see changes or at least him take some kind of stand on what you mean to him.