I'm breaking and so is our marriage
My husband is a gamer. We recently got married and are trying to figure out how to balance the time we spend working, with the time we spend with each other, and the time he spends gaming.
We started off with him only gaming every other night. It went well for awhile, but when he started gaming multiple nights in a row and not making up thr lost time with me we switched to him gaming 1/2 the night every night. It's not working either. He says that he will get off at a certain time that we agree upon before joining me in bed, but most of the time he games until morning and then sleeps until work then returns home, takes a nap until his friends get online, and then games all night.
The problem is that it seems like he would rather play games with his friends than do real things with me. We spent more time together before we got married than we do now that we live together. He doesn't even sleep with me do to this schedule.
My heart is breaking with how his gaming is tearing us apart. I don't want him to stop entirely, but nothing else I can come up with has worked. If I give him an ultimatum, I don't know what he will choose. I just want the man I knew before we got married to come back. I love him.
Replace the word “gamer” with “drinker, gambler, or druggie.”. You now see that he has an addiction.
This behavior was most likely all there before, but now that he has wooed you and married, he doesn’t have to properly behave anymore.
You are a new bride, and it’s not fair how things are going. Let him know that you are feeling neglected. If he doesn’t respond and see his addiction is affecting the marriage, seek marriage counseling.
You don’t say how old you two are but he may not be ready to be a husband yet.