My boyfriend (whom I met on a dating website) is a 56 year old and i am in my forties. We are getting on fine but recently I had access to his gmail and I had a quick scan over his emails ( I know I should't have). However I found various emails to 20 something year old girls and one in particular from Russia that he had built up a relationship with and was planning on meeting with her etc. These emails were all before he and I met so I am not planning on saying anything about them. I also know I shouldn't have read them however I am wondering should I be worried that he was contacting these much younger women. Thanks.
Do you think he’s worried about your love life before you got together?
Hi thanks so much for responding. We were both married to other people for a very long time. I had a relationship after that and I told him all about it so he already knows all about my relationship history. I'm not really bothered about his love life before he met me more the fact that he has had online relationships with girls younger than his daughters.... and he hasn't said a word to me about them. I remember asking him if he had been with other people and he said he had just one date and that was it.... He has lied to me about these girls and clearly never wants me to know about them. I guess I'm anxious that he can contact these girls easily at any time and wonder if he has a "thing" for younger girls.......
So funny - a group of us girls were talking just the other day about dating at age 60 plus. We all agreed: men in their 60s plus want the 40 year olds; men in their 50s want the 20-somethings. That’s their fantasy. Most if the time the girls are not interested- unless there is a financial /prestige gain for them.
Internet “looking” is just this kind of fantasy, and there may have been a financial requirement for anything further. (Which he didn’t pursue, right?)
Your guy was indulging his fantasy. Unless he is following up on these relationships now, just let it go.
You would be able to tell if there is something on the side. Don’t let your time and energy be taken up with doubts, in the meantime. Enjoy each day with each other.
Thanks so much and I think your advice is sound advice. There was an issue with the Russian girl as she wanted him to pay her fare from Russia to meet him. She told him in the emails that she had fallen in love with him and he told her he dreamt of meeting her etc and called her his love etc ......... I think he wasn't impressed that she was asking him to send her over €550.... I was just shocked that they had built up that level of closeness and only a few months before he met me. Thanks again. x