LALAMOONBEAM - Oct 11 2018 at 19:32
I dont want to leave him
He instigates fights frequently
I have no desire to leave i want things to get better.
We have a 4 month old and ive developed a relationship with his daughters from his ex.
I love him
I want a happy future with him
I dont contribute cuz im not working currently.
But i will as soon as i find a solid babysitter and am ready to be away from baby.
He uses it as an excuse to put me down and gets a power trip.
Hes stressed. I do help when i can.
He says im lazy even tho im taking care of baby all hrs of the day.
He accuses me of being a wh*** cuz he thinks im up all night on my phone talking to other guys. Which im not.
He says im not an adult.
I tell him i dont deserve how poorly he treats me . He says if i act like sh** i deserve to be treated like sh**
This is only when hes seeing red.
Hes perfectly normal and himself most of the time. But when hes trying to wind down by killing his liver with shot after shot of vodka he turns into a monster who cant be reasoned with.
If i give him no reaction it makes it worse. If i defend myself it makes it worse.
I just want it to get better.
I dont want to leave him.
Ok can I ask why you don’t want to leave him?
I get that obviously you have a child together and you have other bonds but are there any other reasons at all?
If he is a narcissist then he won’t change. What you have described above is disgusting. You are the mother of his child. How dare he speak to and treat you like that?
Why should you have to get a job when you have a 4 month old? That’s a full time job in itself.
I’m sorry but based on what you have said I really do think your absolute best option is to leave him. If he is a narcissist he will eventually leave you anyway. After he has sucked all the life out of you. So why is it that you don’t want to leave him ?
Oh dear. Run like the wind. My Bf is the same. Yet it dosnt get better. At least not for me. I work now and do 99% of the housework and care for the kids and he’s still the same old narcissist he was when we first met. I do not regret because I have a beautiful son thanks to his genetics. But narcissists steal your sanity. Isolate you and demand respect when none is warented. I was the same. Wanting a happy future and to be together for ever. But now I’m just buying time so I can be financially stable. It’s like dealing with a spoiled 14 ur old. Forever. It tiers me just thinking about all the fights we have had. Over NOTHING. The trade off between love and happiness is not something that should be taken lightly. You make love him yes but is love what between you both?
We do love eachother i just think hes lost his grip with sanity.
Tonight was horrible...
I appreciate your responses it helps so much very good responses too thank you so much.
According to his logic i must be a sl**
Theres no convincing him otherwise even tho theres absolutely no reason for him to think that
He gets in these episodes where he is so deadset on his dillusions.
Im so scared
he has officially lost his marbles.
Maybe hes always been nuts and i always looked past it.
His ex wife left him and it shook him up. I think hes carrying over his abandonment issues and is so scared that im going to pull the same sh** with him that she did
So he gets upset based on his own fears that arent even true.
So leaving him doesnt solve anything in my head it only proves his paranoias to be true.
I want him to know what real love is.