Is he doing this to hurt me or is it for real
KAREN - Oct 13 2018 at 22:13
I know this guy for 4 year over the year we hooked up spent the night with each etc.. then in August 2017 we started talking a got together..I spent 2 to 3 nights going to his and at weekends I've with parent and him his ..he's always respected me looked after me a would worry about me then in May I got a new job and I want to make it work as had a few problems with pervious job .. i always looked after him financial until he found a job he has bad confidence issues etc ... so I was meant to go to his 10 days ago to see him has it had been a week or to since I seen him .. i have let him down with hooking up a few times in the past year hes think im play him for a fool which I'm not so this last time I had to work and I could meet or go his I told him in advance but that was my last chance .so I worked then he message me things were still normal etc then on Tuesday this week he say he's met someone else he don't want to hurt he's telling me the truth etc he been unhappy got years thank you for everything see you by forever so as any would they would try and salvage it he saying I never loved you I don't you etc I never wanted you.. then that this girl is from a different country that he fallen in love her he want some happiness for once .. so I question well what was I etc he keeps bring up I'm moving on by get over me I'm gone for ever I carbt for give you .. you won't change I cnt do it any more etc .. he then say we can still be friends because he care act and we can still be in each other's life but not in a sexual way then the next night he decided he's changed his mind and that I'm going fuck up his new thing with this girl .. then say I cnt give you another chance my heart w/o my take you won't change so I have to move on he's said she will be here with me soon and after his exams and he gets a pay rise there moving in together he knows it's quick but it the real deal but yet less than 10 days ago he wanted me to go his house ..he keeps say I serve happiness I want to meet someone and be happy you never made me and say all this stuff .. and keeps say we're over then we were never together ... you knew this would happen eventually I said coz I care for him I want him to be happy but I want him to stay in my life as his friend he said he cnt as he cnt trust me not to reck this new relationship then switched to you hurt me you never shows up and now I say it's over you show intrest I'm moving on be happy bye for ever etc etc ... then say he need to cut all ties and never want to see me again .. then will i need some space my heads mash if you message me again I will block you he blocked me the night before then unblocked me again he's like move on stop messaging me you fucked it up I'm gone forever ..bye I apologised for everything and explained I was working to get a place to take him away from the shit he has at home etc he then said now you care act I'm done for both a sanity just forget me ... calling me crazy etc and say all I never loved you etc this girl is the girl of his dreams ... he need this it's real what we had weren't etc ...he's like you hurt me you won't change stop then he said it's to late now don't pester me now message back and your blocked for good ...do I don't know what to do I care for him he says he cares for me still but he needs this with this girl etc ..is he saying this to hurt me coz I hurt him ...dose he wa t to cut me out of his life etc I'm confused how can you go from wanting some one 10 days ago to now never want to see them again he said I have you have after chance and you hurt me I cnt do it any more ...so he exspect me to just for get 14 months of my life just like that he won't even just let me be his friend and let me see him be happy ...
Honestly it sounds like you need to move on. He already has, and he is with someone who is better for him.
He obviously thinks you would somehow ruin his happy new relationship, so he doesn't want you around anymore. Respect that. It's likely you would just keep going round and round like you had been if you kept talking anyway.
It sounds like this relationship got pretty childish towards the end, and it's clear that you both don't want the same thing.
Maybe you could take a moment to reflect on things and question if maybe you deserve the reaction you are getting from him.
I don't know if he has me some one or he's doing it to upset me hurt me coz I hurt him ... by standing him up as I was meant to go round to see him 10 days ago and had to work he said that was my last chance came coz I choose work over him I don't love him .. so now ten days later he's says he's in love with some else within such a short space of time he keeps say but you won't chain I cnt do I it any more I just carbt he blames me for everything because I had the best up bringing and he's had a bad one ... this girl is a cyber relationship I think from what he said she from another country she will be her soon with me and when I get a pay rise were getting are own place which is the thing we was talking about doing together 4 weeks ago I cnt help but think he's braking my heart to prove a point ... I know he's in a new dealership I respect that if he his but he can still have friends .. he's know her like 5 mins and me for nearly five years in all .. he know I will always be there for him but I'm just thinking shall I leave him be as he asked for some space I asked for how long he's like I don't know ...
Aww thank you for your reply I am trying to look at it clearly honest I'm ..he means so much to me ..I also don't want him to get hurt..he's not contacted me for 4 days now I just would like him in my life as my friend if that's what he wants .. but he won't let me .. I'm scared to message him in case he blocks me but I'm also scared in case I don't and he's waiting for me to make the first move.. but he needs to do.that I have apologised
.. over and over I just don't know if I should just think well it's his loss or still be here in case he needs me ... do you think he will come round he's just angry .
I know it's weird whenever someone winds up in a relationship in a very short amount of time (especially after being with someone else for over a year), but you know, maybe sometimes people find what they need at the right place and time. If he says he likes this girl, he likes this girl. Maybe it's what's right for him right now.
Maybe this is best for you, too.
I know it is weird not having him in my life it's not that..has met someone and I'm not happy to him..I am happy he has he deserve all that is gud in this world and happiness for what he's been through but ...I don't want him to do something in anger coz he's up set with me and retreat it later .. I also though that even if we we wernt dating anymore that we could a least be in each other's lives a friends ..what about if he ever needs me and he thinks he cnt contacted me because of what has happend he's asked for some space while he thinks about things I know I hurt him but there is no such There is no such thing as a perfect relationship no one is perfect everyone argues now and then ....sometimes two people need to fall apart to realize.. how much they can fall back together ..
Yeah I have not messaged him for 4 days now ... feels crazy when hes my everyday normally .. I just hope he's doing it to piss.me of coz I hurt him so he hurts me ..he's bringing stuff up like this girl is amazing in every way like I'm not etc I really think he's doing it to hurt me .. he's like I can't have you in my life and more I cnt do it for my sanity and yours then says you really fucking make me angry ya know .. we was talking about moving in together 4 weeks ago I get my keys on the 09 Nov I'm scared of moving out my folks now with out him being there living on my own .. then he's like him and this girl are getting a place together when she comes her etc he anoys be but I cnt help but worry about him if he's ok etc .. I have a gud heart and sooo many friends .. he loves that I love him at no cost I just don't know what to do .. I did message him I'm driving down the road now it's dark in it on that message for meat to be for my girl mate who I was going to meet but I sent it to his chat head instead of hers lol x
I have a few questions
When you said you looked after him financially before he found a job? to what extent and for how long?
How recently did he get this job?
How long were you just "hooking up" and how long have you been in an official relationship?
When he says you have let him down too much etc - can you give more detail? Was it before you were in an official relationship? Was it a lot or occasionally? Was it always for a valid reason? Was it last minute every time?
In any case, whatever the answers to the above are I would say his current behaviour is very immature. This new woman is nothing. Unless he has been speaking with her a lot longer than he told you then it's nothing. It won't last as its a total rebound and most likely designed to make you jealous or hurt you.
However, if I were you I would be steering clear from a man who would play with your feelings like this. If he is able to go from planning to move in with you to breaking up with you just like that then you have dodged a bullet. I know it doesn't feel like that at the moment but you have. If he genuinely just wanted to end his relationship with you for valid reasons then he should not have jumped straight into another relationship, cyber or otherwise. that's really unhealthy. His reaction to you letting him down because you need to work is ridiculous. He should understand that working is vital to your survival, especially as you have had to financially support him in the past and you are moving house soon. I think he was just waiting for an excuse to end it with you if I am honest and was probably already involved with this new woman.
My advice it - do not contact him, even oops by mistake. I know it is really hard but it is very important. Just come on here if you get the urge to message him or if he messages you. It will get easier I promise.
Hi I supported him through him clothes.. paid for his cigarettes as I don't smoke .
Beer .. his travel .. I brought him a new computer etc .. we started seeing each other in August last year 15th .. by Sept it was serious I was staying there three times a week end he live with his mum and him and don't get on as you could have gathered.. I let him on Halloween last year he cooked me a romantic meal and the tram broke down I live 15 miles away from him three buses or two trams .. I teavelex to see him what ever the weather that was beyond my control the next time was my mum had a fall and my dad was working away he a cooling specialist.. so I went hospital with her then about March time I was ill had the flu then this last time I had booked over time and forgot he think I'm fucking him about and I don't want him if I don't turn up he's very need and need attention he hates been loanly .. I told him I'm his he know I'm his he what I want no one else he used to get up set Nd say he wernt gud enough forgo alway assured him he was .. 4 weeks ago I was at his I went on a night out with my friend and I alway end up back at his after he held me so tight he kissed me said you are by far the best kisser ever out of all the girls I have been with and had 1bnight stands with we had sex all night I feel asleep on him like normal I'm the morning dint want to leave but he has work he stated work in March at the airport as a kitchen porter then he doing his chef exams now to be a trained chef which inalway encourage him in .. he works nights and me days so when I'm going sleep at night when I'm not at his he getting in and when I get up he's in bed .. I miss him so much... he says he's met this other girl now and he's falling in love with her and he thinks this his his chance to be happy and keeps saying bye hope you find happiness by for ever .. and say they are moving in with each other like we was doing and there going to Mexico where I was going to take him in the new year he's keeps saying you hurt me I cnt do this any more etc say give me some space then changes his mind ..this girl could tell him what he wants I told him she said she's falling in lived with us I'm like those are words it's action that prove love to you not words .. he called me a crazy pyco etc .. he's like we both need a fresh start I know it will be killing him etc .. he worries about me all the time he's a soft like that
. So I don't know if he means it or he's doing this to hurt me even though he's saying he's being honest and don't want nothing to do with me... when every thing was rosy he's happy when things get hard he's throws the towel in .. I mean please he's 32 years old x