Why was this guy so hurtful to me?
Hi I was on only two dates with this guy who I really thought seemed nice until the second date. We were kissing and then he went to finger me and it happened quite quick! It was quite painful I told him to stop as he was hurting me and he did then stop. I remember feeling really shocked because I didn't think he was going to do that and it happened quite fast. He exposed himself started feeling himself in front of me and started calling me useless because he wanted sex and I told him no.
I had already told him I'm still a virgin he kept pressuring me to have sex saying I'm just afraid because I'm a virgin still. He kept saying you're useless and your afraid of the ride he said to me. I told him he needs to learn some manners and that's not a nice way to talk to someone. I gave off to him over Facebook messenger about his behaviour he kept ignoring me then he blocked me. I was quite upset because I had really started to fall for this guy and that's the worst of it I've still feelings for him, we had been texting a good few months as well before this happened and to just be blocked and cut off like that is a horrible feeling. I just wanted him to apologize and he wouldn't so I admit I did text him a lot giving off and then he ignored me then I was blocked.
He insulted me a few months before this as well he had texted me calling me a Freak before too over messenger which I was quite upset by too and I gave off to him about that as well but I never got any apology and I saw him recently on a night out he was very drunk so drunk I saw him fall to the floor. I saw him up at a bar and I confronted him I asked why he said hurtful things to me and he went to walk away and said to my face I don't like you! :( I was so upset yet again and he said it in front of a few of his friends which made me feel quite embarrassed as well. Why was he so hurtful? Is it just he's immature? And so lashed out because he couldn't get what he wanted? He's 23 so a bit younger than me I'm 25 but still should he not know he was wrong to treat a girl like this?
I think the guy was kind of rude to you, and the way he treated you when he didn't get what he wanted is wrong. I think even more it's the fact that he jumped right into something so personal without making sure you were okay with it, and that he called you useless because you didn't want to have sex. I get that sometimes in the moment it's okay to get more intimate, but you were really uncomfortable with being touched that way, and he should have respected that and stopped.
I would have given the guy a little more benefit of the doubt if he hadn't called you worthless and become a jerk towards you. You say you'd been talking for months before going on those two dates, so you probably felt kind of close by that point. But if he is going to disregard everything that is great about you within an instant and call you worthless because you won't let him finger you and have sex with you, he probably wasn't worth it.
Why did he call you a Freak before? It probably doesn't matter, I was just wondering. I think you're right and that he is immature. I also think he is kind of young yet, and has some growing up to do.
Look, from my experience the people that don't respond to your messages and who block you and ghost you? Usually they aren't worth your time. People have to be willing to communicate.
I think it's important you find someone who appreciates you for you. This one apparently did not. You should move on with your life for now.
Thanks for your reply!☺ It's just good to hear someone else's opinion on it and the reason he called me a freak was because when he blocked me before I got in touch with him again a few weeks after that to say i was sorry i annoyed him and was it because I'd annoyed him with texting he blocked me and he kept ignoring me then wrote to me and his exact words were Freak stop annoying me and don't write to me again!
Well he sounds delightful doesn't he? :^) (A)
Second date and he is behaving like that? jeez - that really is not ok. I don't care how long you had been talking to him before. He should have 100% respected your wishes immediately. His behaviour is treading a very fine line to nearly being sexual assault. He wants to be very careful of behaving that way. At 23 he is still young but should know better than that for sure. You are lucky he showed his true colours by date 2 - it normally takes 3-5 months of dating. I pity the poor woman he targets next.
Stay away from him. There are much nicer guys out there who would be more worthy of your time.
Hi thanks for your opinion on this I think your right he should of respected my decision not to and instead he chose to insult me by saying I'm useless :( it sounds mad maybe but I had really fell for this guy and I just felt a strong connection with him before he had went on like this and then blocking me for giving off to him about it I just I'm upset because I just don't feel like I'm going to feel this way for anybody else? I still have feelings for him and I wish I didn't :(
Hey again Ladybird,
Well, I can almost guarantee you'll eventually fall for someone else. The thing is, there are a lot of people out there. I went through a lot of moments over the past few years where I felt disappointed because things never went anywhere with this or that woman. Lo and behold, I eventually met other women. You'll eventually meet someone else, and eventually one of these someones is bound to want to stick around in your life for a while.
Feelings fade with time. You might occasionally wonder, "What if?" Every now and then you might think back to the time you spent with that person and dissect their personality, wondering how much of it was real and how much of them you really got to know - if they were a good person deep down. But at the end of the day, this person exited your life and is no longer a part of it. It's easy to move on when people really didn't care and really weren't worth feeling down about for too long.