Alcoholic angry narcissist
I dont want to leave my bf
We have a sweet happy family
Hes the love of my life.
He is sick.
Should i give him some space and tell him he needs to sober up
It just keeps getting worse.
I busted my behind all day today being a good housewife and he switches over to this monster refuses to eat the food i made for him shuns me flips me off then calls me an idiot and tells me to get off my ass and get a life whatd i do all day wash 3 dishes
The other night he came at me with a cigarette in the house i hid in the closet with the baby and he seeked me out and got in my face
This man needs help.... but i dont think hes gonna get it. He thinks i am the problem
Ok, you've posted a few threads about this topic over the last few weeks or so. And I think I've answered a few of them. So lets just stick to this thread and try and help you.
Know that Peoples' answers to you are going to be the same to you, which is to leave him, defend yourself, tell someone close to you, etc etc. All that's been given. You may or may not be ready/don't want to and it maybe easier said then done. But helping yourself is the best things you can do and it's not easy, I know!
I don't think someone is going to tell you any different, if that's what you want. They might share their experiences with you, if they've been in a similar position.
If you read up as much as you can on narcarist people/relationships you will see that theses people do not change, not usually anyway. They manipulate, play mind games and they damage you, your self esteem and confidence and they gaslight. More too but google.
Throw in alcohol and they can also use that as an excuse too. Their behaviour is all about them, he's not thinking about anyone else but him at the moment. Therefore your situation isn't going to change.
It's not him who needs space, its you, mainly for yours and your babys safety if anything. In one of your other posts you said he pushed you, now he's stubbing cigarettes In your face? So can you see how it's slowly getting worse and worse?
I do understand, (and done lots of reading too). my dad is a narcissist and at the moment I don't speak to him because he's too toxic, and sorry to say but so is your bf.
Thank you Lily
Im sorry about your father
I didn't mean don't stop up dating if that's how it came across (sorry if it did), still keep us updated and we'll try to advise as much as we can :-)
Lalamoonbeam this link to watch (watch it when he's not around), hope it helps a bit.
Well from my experience because it has happen to me before and this is how I came to forum to share my problem with good people and someone refer me to a native doctor in Brazil and he sent me some meds to give him to use after 3 days my husband stop drinking and smoking and since then he has been a good man. If you guys still love each other I would advice you to try this link and thank me latter.
That must be so scary on an emotional and physical level. I cant stress enough as I regret and am ashamed of verbally abusing my ex gf due to consuming way to much alcohol. I am so relieved that I finally decided to get some help. I was not forced I wanted a better life for myself and for people around me as well. I knew that when I drink I become an 'Ass" to be blunt. You have a choice here to either strongly encourage him to get help as you will not accept nor take that type of abuse anymore. The other choice is to just walk away. I know that you love him and it is hrd but when it starts to become your safety is in jeopardy at any level than you need to start taking proactive and serious decision makings.
If you want to talk more to me about this I am more than happy to listen!!! I wish you the best of luck :)
Thank you very much for your responses guys.
We both wanna make it work but the fighting doesnt stop. The communication has been getting better though sometimes.
He really does need help!
Pleased you updated :-).
Ok, so the communication has got 'a bit better'. I don't think it's genuine on his behalf at all, if it was he would also be showing you he wants to change but stil after how long (?) ...nothing.
I think it's all to do with manipulation. Is he being nice and sweet? As I recently discovered (with my dad) it's called ar*e licking. He can say what he wants, fact is he then fights with you later. Not to mention he thinks it's ok to physically hurt you.
Do you see what he's doing?
(Officially, the 'a*se-licking' is known as Love-Bombing. LalaMoonBeam, you can google this, to understand why and in what various circumstances they employ it.)
Since this thread is in danger of going inactive, and since this guy is clearly potentially dangerous and, from what I can tell, about to tip into abusing you physically, LaLaMoonBeam (if he can get you to stay by switching to re-Love-Bombing you first) - and could, from there, start extending that toward your child as another way to hurt you - I'd like Susie's very "real" message to be the last word:
Wow - consider the possibility that there may come a day when you could lose custody of your child because of his behavior.
No need to be a martyr for his behavior. The blame, the sanity challenges, the abuse ( which has already transferred onto your child) and then there is the drinking, (which only fuels his condition but his base behavior is there even without the alcohol)
Please seek counseling. You are going to need all the help possible to deal with this.
Sorry to be so blunt, but when children are affected, I react!!
Read her opening sentance 10 times.