Dating dilemma - inexperience
I’m 26 and female and have been dating a lovely guy for about a month now. He’s asked me over to his house for a meal at the weekend and I’m 99% sure he thinks we’re going to have sex. I’m a Virgin and have never been in a relationship before and I’m worried how to bring this up without freaking him out. I’m overweight due to health issues (about a size 18) but I dress to hide my problem areas like my flabby stomach and bingo wing arms etc... I really like this guy but I don’t want him to feel deceived/disappointed in how I look etc.. if we do sleep together but then I’m not sure how to address my lack of confidence and experience without raising “relationship red flags” any advice would be greatly appreciated
I think it's important to only do what you are comfortable with. If you're still not feeling ready to make that more intimate step, then it's completely fine to say no and instead just enjoy a romantic evening with someone. You've never been in a relationship before, so I would say don't feel pressured to make a major decision like that if you don't want to yet. Enjoy just being in a relationship and feeling cared for and caring for someone.
You also don't have to feel pressured into talking about your insecurities just yet. Maybe this is something you can bring up over time, if you don't want to have some big discussion about it. I know it's a sensitive subject and one that maybe you don't want to just have turn into an argument. This guy may not see any issue with your appearance, but I realize that your looks are your own issue that you will have to overcome on your own.
Come to think of it... You don't even have to go over to his house yet, if you don't feel comfortable with that. It's fine to just enjoy each other's company out in public. That is, unless you're at the point where you're ready to go to his place and have dinner with him. I would mention this sooner rather than later so he doesn't have to go to the trouble of preparing a meal and sprucing up his place.
I will tell you that being a virgin isn't something to be ashamed of, and I think most other men would agree with me that it's a positive quality that many people would appreciate in a partner. Most people don't expect it nowadays, but it would be a pleasant bonus to meet someone who is waiting and hasn't been with others. On the flip-side of that I want you to know that you don't have to feel like trash when the day comes that you are no longer a virgin. There is nothing wrong with being sexually active, and most people are. But it is your choice ultimately who you want to have sex with, and when.
I hope that your budding romance continues to go well, and that you both have a great next date whether or not you decide to have sex.
How close are you two? Has there been intimate touching and body exploring - without actual sex taking place?
If not, then slow down and spent some time touching and petting first. Don’t feel pressured to have sex before you know each other’s bodies.
That way, there’s less surprise about each other’s bodies.