Looking for advice on a relationship that is in the process of ending
Hello everyone! This is my first post here so I'll get right to it.
I need to give a brief backstory before getting to my question. I have been going with a girl from work for almost 2 years now. About a year ago her sister moved cross country following a divorce. My girlfriend helped her sister move and fell in love with the area and began talking about the possibility of moving there. I kind of played it off as a wish more than a want or need and conversations about it were very minimal.
Fast forward to two weeks ago. Things were going great between us and all of a sudden she tells me that her heart isn't in it right now and she needs a break and hopes we can be friends and if not she understands. I was completely blindsided by this did not know what to say. It was right before another trip to see her sister. She called me yesterday from her sisters and told me that she bought a house out there. I am incredibly saddened by this news and I know that in all reality when the move does happen, it will probably the last time I see her. I tried to be supportive and happy for her when we talked but I didn't hide the true feelings very well.
Now for my question. I really care about this girl and don't want her gone from my life. I want to tell her how much she means to me and how much I love her. I know it's kind of late but I don't want to have any regrets or feelings left hanging out there. I'm at a loss as to what to do. Do I tell her what I'm feeling, knowing that it's not going to change anything or keep it to myself and put on the fake smile for her?
I left a lot of details out to try and keep it short so if anybody wants more please ask. Thank you!
Is there is a reason why you can’t join her - go there?
Maybe because , from what you have posted - she’s not expressing that suggestion.
Lover tells you things aren’t right and moves away and then buys a house... that’s the behavior of someone who has moved on.
You have talked about what you want, what do you know what SHE wants?
Thank you for the response!
The reason why I can't go with her is that I have a minor child that lives with me that I can't uproot from her current life. I can visit but I don't just want to visit. She has never suggested me moving with her until tonight when she made the comment that I could end up out there also. Not really the same as why don't you move with me, but I am grasping at straws for some positivity with any of it.
We did talk this evening for a bit and she knows that I can't go anywhere right now. She said she needed a break because she thought it would be easier to get separation now before she moves away. She hasn't moved away yet. She was visiting her sister and came back home today. She doesn't officially move until January. Basically, she was trying to make it easier on both of us by ending things now but she wants to remain friends until she moves for good in a couple of months. I said a lot of things today that I should have said months ago, live and learn I guess. I want to spend as much time with her as possible before she leaves but I don't know if my heart can do it.
We did talk about what she wants. She wants to leave to be closer to her sister and in a beautiful area, be away from her harassing ex husband, and she is really burned out with things at work and wants a fresh start. I knew about the ex husband problems and the work burn out and in the back of my mind I knew this was coming.
If she made all these plans without consulting you then I'm not sure she is interested in a future with you. You should tell her how you feel and find out how she feels. If she does not see you in her future plans, then move on.