Solo travel failure, how do I face my family?
I arrived in Auckland a few days ago. This trip has been planned for around 9 months after I dropped out of year 13 for mental issues. I was supposed to get a job and a place to staY, and stay here for around 6 months to a year but on arriving at the hostel I knew I had made a huge mistake. I realised that I am nowhere near mentally ready to do this on my own and only did this trip to prove I wasn't a faliure for dropping out. After receiving my orientation pack ( sim card, business cards from people who are hiring etc) I just made up an excuse of family emergency and got the flight agency to book me return flights. I feel like such an idiot. I have wasted so much money. At this point my parents know and are confused but understanding. I don't know how I am going to face my (large family) and freinds who are all successful and tell them that I failed again. I know they will be kind about it but I know my mental health is going to suffer.
Just as a side note, as soon as I get home I'm getting an apprenticeship and paying my parents back no matter how long it takes. I can do that much at least.
Any advice on how to not loose my mind from guilt? Thanks.
"This thing we call Failure is not the falling down but the STAYING down" - Mary Pickford.
Also: Never trying/sampling anything to begin with is true failure.
Success is the path made up of the pavoirs called failure... otherwise known as LEARNING.
You learned a heck of a lot about yourself (which is usually like trying to find out what the back of your head looks like without the aid of a mirror), all for the bargain price of a trip. You now know you're not an 'physical world explorer' (you didn't just dislike it, you hated it). So that means [drum roll] you're an *internal world* explorer. The psychological universe.
Have you ever read The Naked Ape by Desmond Morris?
Try it, Sam-I-Am, you might like Green Eggs & Ham. :-)