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He went back to his wife...

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Relationship advice I work with a married man who, 12 weeks ago contacted me outside of work. I have a boyfriend of 10 yrs but he is abusive and the relationship, emotionally and physical ended a while ago. The married man said he felt a connection and had to find out whether it was something worth exploring...well it was, I’d felt it too and and was electric! I’d never felt a connection like it before.
We became extremely close and it was inevitable that we fell in love.
His wife kicked him out, packed his bags and told him she wanted him gone.She didn’t do this because of our affair but because of an argument they’d had. She has only recently found out that we have exchanged messages.
The affair between us only recently became sexual and only when him and his wife had split and he had moved out.
They’ve had contact with each other but it’s been quite hostile.
Throughout this whole situation all I have been told by this man is that he loves me so much he can’t live without me..he plans our future..has told friends about us and is very open about the fact that he wants me in his life. I have been very private about the situation as through all this I have never wanted to hurt anyone. I just fell in love. To get to the point..he went quiet for a few days after a night out, his wife was at the same venue so for the whole time I just had a gut feeling. I then received a text message from him saying he wanted to try again with his didn’t sound like his words and I was baffled. I have now found out that his wife made him send the message to me in order for her to speak to him. He told me she’s become obsessed with asking questions about me. He then told me he didn’t mean anything he said in the message and it was done just for peace from her and that he doesn’t know what to do and knows deep down he doesn’t want to go back to her. I have tried to be supportive and told him to do what he needs to but inside I am heart broken. This man really is the love of my life! Can the relationship with him and his wife I holding onto false hope? I feel so lost...

He went back to his wife...

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Hey Bren17,

Well I think if you haven't already, you need to find a way to end things with the abusive boyfriend. Get away from him so you're better able to start a fresh life for yourself. Remember, you need to focus on being happy yourself first, before being happy with someone new.

This new guy, if he really does love you, will eventually leave his wife. Sometimes it takes a while for a dying relationship to conclude, as you're no doubt aware of. But... If this is dragging on for a long while and he keeps wimping out and staying with his wife, that's not fair to you.

In the meantime I would focus on you. Like I said in the first paragraph, you need to move your own life forward first, and find some peace there before everything else falls into place. If it's a year later and this guy is still making no effort to do the same for you, then maybe he's not serious enough about you.

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