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Are exes exes for a reason?

Posted by
CALIFORNIAPOPPY
on Dec 4 2018 at 21:41
Member since: 04 December 2018
Relationship advice Anyway, I recently got back with an ex.

We dated for a while and it felt magical. Great sex. Great conversations. Everything. If I had any real annoyance with him, it's that he's pretty introverted and I felt like I had to plan everything. (Which felt kind of unequal. Like, dude, find some fun stuff to do with me for once! I don't like having to intuit what other people want to do then plan it all!)

Then he broke up with me out of the blue because I "go to bed too early" (I go to bed at 11 on work nights because, you know...work), "eat normal food" (like, I like to eat three meals a day of generally healthy stuff) and "talk too much" (I'm pretty talkative, but this wasn't a new thing or anything. Nor is my tendency to go to bed at 11 so I can wake up for work the next morning or to eat a fairly healthy pescatarian diet...)

Anyway, time went on and I dated other people but couldn't quite forget him. Then we started texting again, hung out, and got back together.

So great, right? Except that last week, I asked if he wanted to go and see a show. He said sure, I bought tickets. Then just before we were supposed to leave, suddenly he felt sick (because he ate too much earlier in the day). I asked if he wanted to skip the show, but he insisted on going then was just...really grouchy the whole time. He kind of apologized, but it ruined the night (because who wants to have fun with someone who's being grouchy and quasi-blaming them for eating too much even though I actually suggested not having a huge breakfast?).

And now I'm wondering why I'm back together with him. I mean, maybe he really is too damned prickly. (Seriously, who breaks up with someone for...eating?) And I can't quite get it out of my head that the only reason he got back together with me is that he found out that, hey, what-do-you-know, the perfect woman who somehow never has any wants or needs doesn't exist, so why not feel great about dating this woman you think will come back to you and validate you?

I'm kind of tempted to bring it up and see what happens. Also kind of tempted to just vanish and never talk to him again (because I have no particular desire to go through another night like that). Also kind of tempted to gloss it over and see how it goes. I don't know. Thoughts?

Are exes exes for a reason?
Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Dec 5 2018 at 22:27
Member since: 27 December 2013
You really had a flash-back button pushed - and I doubt it was because of a stomach ache, because who would get irritated at someone really sick?

Somebody’s a needy, boring, whiner.

You probably know what to do. Now you have to work up the energy to do it. Doubt if it will bother him that much, since that’s how he ends things anyway.

Are exes exes for a reason?
Reply from
CALIFORNIAPOPPY
on Dec 5 2018 at 23:38
Member since: 04 December 2018
I think that's it. I mean, if he was legitimately sick-sick, I'd have felt sorry for him. Instead it felt like he just was being irresponsible, and rather than try to enjoy himself despite not feeling perfect (who ever feels perfect?), decided to drag me down because of minor indigestion.

And yeah. I think I know what to do. Fun times. :) (But thanks for the advice!)

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