Hi everyone,I need some opinions here. So my bf is off to grad school but,our relationship has been rocky this couple of months cause of distance. There is no effort on his part because he is super stress and I understand but on the hand I want this relationship to be equal. So when I told him that he said I will give it to you after I am done with finals but I told him he can do that but he can also just sent me a cute text saying I love you randomly because I am always the one doing that. I feel like I suffer from seasonal depression so that makes it worse when it’s the first time we have been apart and there are no efforts coming from his part with this relationship. We have been dating for 5years. Please help. Thank you
With him away, this is your opportunity to expand your own interests and create your own identity - because it really seems like you depend on him to supplement your emotional and social levels/needs.
This might feel like another "job" for him, at this very busy time of finals. He does not need another "need" in his life.
Do an assessment of yourself. Have you developed into a whole, active, confident wom(seasonal an with many interests and talents over the last five years? If not, then use this time alone to re-define yourself. Take some classes, join a group, do something different.
Here's what he might like to see as a text:
"Hi honey. Today I volunteered with kids at the art center and baked cookies for the elderly neighbors. I am keeping busy while you study so hard."
Can you see how this shows him you are living and doing well and growing as a person while he is away?
BTW - SAD (seasonal affective disorder) is treatable. Google it and find out how you can do some things to make yourself feel better.