Hiya everyone, I was looking for some advice.
Basically, I am a University student in my 2nd year of university. I live with 3 other girls in my student house who I generally get on well with and there aren't that many arguments.
I've lived with two of these girls before in my first year, and neither of them tend to, shall we say,hold back on their opinions. The other girl I haven't known for as long and she's a much nicer, more quiet girl.
The other two girls, let's call them Bubble and Squeak for short, like to baby me, call me names and generally take the piss out of me on a day to day basis. They call me stupid and make snide little comments saying things like 'how did you get into university?' and 'you have no common sense'. They laugh with each other and I usually try to laugh it off as well to get them to shut up.
Now I'm quite a sensitive person who hasn't really ever stood up for herself (preferring to ignore the problem) but in this situation even I didn't think I was overreacting. We went on a shopping trip the other day and literally every single thing I said was criticized by Bubble and Speak, making me feel like absolute shit to the point I was crying to my parents through the phone when I got home.
Even 'Mash' the other newer friend, noticed what they were doing and said 'I think we're all picking on (me) a lot today'. After this comment was made, Bubble and Squeak began to backtrack and said that everything they say 'is out of love' and that they love me really. I don't believe this for a minute.
My question then is whether to say something to them because they're really making me very unhappy, or just to carry on ignoring? Is there a way to do this without causing massive confrontation?
Thank you advance and sorry for the massive story Xxx
Sorry you’re going through this. They are bullies. Even an outsider looking in, Mash, has spotted them picking on you. And she’s not too shy or quiet enough to point it out to them.
Back tracking it what bullies do when someone point out their behaviour and they give all sorts of cr*p excuses. But really if they liked you they wouldn’t says those things to you or having you calling your parents in tears would they?
Out of Bubble and Squeak, does one of them seem to be the ringleader? And the other the follower (who just joins in because she thinks it’s fun, which doesn’t make her any less of a bully just easily influenced?).
I think it’s time you learn to be assertive :-) . Read up on how to be assertive. Don’t laugh it off when they make comments or call you names.
You can try talking to them but i think that would cause an argument no matter how careful you are with your words. And you’ve got to live with them for the rest of the year! You could write down how you feel, then they can’t interrupt.
Stick with Mash, she seems nice and I think she could be a really good friend. she’s knows what’s going on, she’s not silly, so befriend her.
Distance yourself from these two girls as much as you can they are not friends.
Also look up (google) narcissistic friendships see if one or both of them fit any traits.
Hope this helps and here to talk more if you want/need to :-)