Confused about a relationship
Hi, i meet this girl in my country in September 2018 and we spend 2 months together it was so beautiful everything was fine then she had to leave and go back to Germany and she asked me to come to visit her so I booked the ticket and im going to visit her in January 2019, so after she left she was talking to me and telling me how mush she miss me and she cant wait to see me then from nowhere she changed she stopped talking and asking and if talk to her she always answer late and cold, so i told her how i feel and i told her if there’s something you need to tell me just say and i will walk away, and that was her answer:
“it is a huge difference between seeing each other everyday and just texting. I’m happy if I see you in January and I’m looking forward to it. I just don’t wanna be too attached and miss you 24/7...
I don’t want you to walk away or anything”
So I stopped talking to her and then after 3 days she text me and i was very cold to her, then she told me
“I know you’re pissed or annoyed but u gotta tell me what u want me to do. I can’t read ur mind”
i told her im not pissed or anything then she said perfect forget it, and we didn’t talk for 5 days till today she sent me a selfie on snapchat and the conversation was short and super cold.
So i dont know whats going on I already asked her and she didn’t give me a good reason why shes doing this so im confused cause the way she was hugging me and holding my hand it was different we were happy together but then everything changed, so should i go and see her then we can talk about it or just walk away, but I really like this girl and i start to have feelings for her and im afraid to fall for the wrong person i hope you guys can help me and im sorry for my bad English. Thanks.
She has given you a good reason...in her first response to you she put, she doesn’t want to be attached and miss you 24/7. But happy to see you in January.
To me that says she doesn’t want to be in a long distance relationship but she’s happy to stay in contact and be friends with you.
It’s up to you if you want to go and see her in January, but I would go not taking it too seriously and know that it might only be on friend terms and nothing more.
It sounds like you're more invested in this than she is. She doesn't want a LDR, but is fine with a "FWB" situation. Which is absolutely fine. As long as you're okay with nothing more than friendship with very occasional benefits, and no real intimacy.
Personally, that wouldn't cut it for me, and I'd be unhappy in a situation where I'm not able to pursue the kind of intimacy that matters most to me, which has nothing to do with sex or proximity. If you want to see her, and are fine with it being a temporary fling, then go for it. But if you want more, seeing her will only make things worse.
So decide what it is you want. If it's a girlfriend or some form of commitment, you're setting yourself up for heartache with this girl.
Four or five months can be hard on a LD relationship for young people who only had a litte start- off time of two months. So it was a whirlwind fling and may have to remain nothing more than a good memory...
This visit will be a time to cement those Sept. feelings.
What do YOU want to happen?
This trip sounds more exciting to you than to her. And it will cost you some $$ to see her, so be sure that you both are as excited and committed as you are.
Otherwise, let this fade away ...