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How should I stop stalking my crush ?

Posted by
REVERSE _FLASH
on Dec 19 2018 at 08:45
Member since: 07 November 2016
Emotional advice Is it normal that I social-media stalk my crush ? She is a really good friend of mine but I have more feelings for her. Sometimes I stalk her on insta, I see what kind of posts he likes and try to conclude something or sometimes I see when is she online on whatsapp. And sometimes I get really mad and see which of her male friends are online at that time to try to figure out who is she talking to. And if I find someone then I get completely restless and keep hoping for them to stop talking. I feel like I/m overdoing it and sometimes it makes me go complete mad.

I really hate it when she is online for a while but isn't replying to my text, even though it's a silly not important text.

I feel like I need to stop this obsession. I just don't know how. Currently my vacations are going on, so I/m really free and end up doing this bullshit

How should I stop stalking my crush ?
Reply from
ALTREAL
on Dec 19 2018 at 12:04
Member since: 20 August 2015
Hey Reverse_Flash. Well, I want to start by saying I can kind of relate. The Internet and social media provide us with ways to keep in touch with others from real life, but also provide us with distracting things to check often.

The first step is realizing that your friendship with this person is just that. You don't own her, and she is allowed to make friends with whoever she wants and flirt with whoever she chooses. She also has her own life, and can't live for social media or texts.

Maybe it's best to just not use social media if you feel this way using it. Usually the people who matter will text and call instead.

It's best to try to find interests and hobbies that you can look forward to in your spare time, rather than the empty act of obsessing over someone's profile.

If you're good friends with her already, then just talk to her in person or texts when you can.

I will say what you're doing is normal, but not healthy. People aren't really meant to socialize in this way, the Internet more or less enables people to be anti-socializers and to stalk or avoid whoever they want.

How should I stop stalking my crush ?
Reply from
MAMABEAR
on Dec 19 2018 at 17:11
Member since: 06 March 2016
C'mon, man.

You know the answer to this. You just don't want to stop. But you REALLY need to just stop. It's invasive, and not how you treat someone you supposedly care about. Maybe she doesn't respond because she knows you can't/won't respect boundaries. Just put the device down, and unfollow her online for a bit. Nobody likes THAT guy. So stop being THAT guy, and engage in your own life.

How should I stop stalking my crush ?
Reply from
SOULMATE (moderator)
on Dec 22 2018 at 00:32
Member since: 19 August 2014
Agree x 2.

(And, Altreal, that was a really impressive post - well done!)

How should I stop stalking my crush ?
Reply from
ALTREAL
on Dec 22 2018 at 03:39
Member since: 20 August 2015
I just want to say thanks for the complement, Soulmate. I realize I'm not a professional at this, I just try to give the best feedback I can based off of my own experiences.

I've gotten hopelessly caught-up in using the Internet to learn things about people before, and it really doesn't solve anything. If people care, they will keep in touch. Plain and simple.

How should I stop stalking my crush ?
Reply from
SOULMATE (moderator)
on Dec 24 2018 at 12:31
Member since: 19 August 2014
People do various things with their talent for rescuing and fixing. Some keep it as a private talent, some decide to make money out of it (as requires getting paper certification). Neither affects the talent.

What does affect the talent - for a wee while - is being in Recovery. (People who are ill tend to constantly punch people with talent in the face.)

I was just watching and waiting. I knew you'd get there.

So that's why I 'exclaimed'. I can see Chequered Flags by the way people post. :-)

How should I stop stalking my crush ?
Reply from
SOULMATE (moderator)
on Dec 24 2018 at 12:35
Member since: 19 August 2014
PS: If you're free tomorrow at any point, yourself and Scopes (although I haven't asked him yet this year - will do), would you like to start a "Lonely At Christmas" thread?

You just open a thread, inviting people whom for myriad reasons are lonely or bored this year to chat to you and each other, swap jokes and funny stories, ...that sort of thing.

Are you - free?

How should I stop stalking my crush ?
Reply from
ALTREAL
on Dec 25 2018 at 05:58
Member since: 20 August 2015
Hey again Soulmate,

Well, I am visiting with family but I'm not sure what I will be doing tomorrow at this time.

I wouldn't be able to talk much in a Christmas Day thread, but maybe one for the Holidays and New Year's overall would be a good idea since people would have someplace to talk for over a week.

What do you think?

And Reverse_Flash, sorry for hijacking your thread a bit here!

This thread has expired, but why not create your own?