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He's home for Christmas, but I'm not allowed to visit...

Posted by
on Dec 28 2018 at 00:57
Member since: 28 December 2018
LGBT advice So I love my boyfriend. As far as I know he loves me too and we've nearly been together a year...

We started off as long distance and still going relatively strong, but I've struggled with feeling distant from him.

He's home at the moment and he's visited me twice, though he hates public transport and it takes an hour on the train... I'd be more than happy to visit him but he always gets annoyed when I bring it up, as his dad doesn't know I exist, is very homophobic and wouldn't let me in the house.

I just feel as though we're constantly missing out on opportunities to become closer due to distance when we're at uni, but even when we're home I feel I barely see him because of his family.

I really don't know what to do...I know it's not about me with regards to his father, but I feel like an part time boyfriend sometimes.

He's home for Christmas, but I'm not allowed to visit...
Reply from
on Dec 29 2018 at 15:43
Member since: 08 September 2016
It must be really difficult for you both but maybe more for your boyfriend to hide his sexuality from his dad. All he wants is acceptance and he’s probably scared of being disowned if he does tell him.

And this is why he get angry if you mention visiting him, he knows it not possible and he’s frustrated with the situation.

I think at the moment you both need to be patient. See each other when you can, maybe meet half way if he doesnt like traveling. After uni is finished and if/when he moves out of his family home, away from his dad, that’s probably when things will get better, you can go to his more.

His dad might always be an issue because he’s unlikely to change, so your bf will need support :-)

He's home for Christmas, but I'm not allowed to visit...
Reply from
on Dec 31 2018 at 19:51
Member since: 27 December 2013
Sorry, but you don’t have a willing partner in this relationship.

Time to move on and find a caring nurturing person who will move mountains to be with you. That’s what love does.

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