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Why does everyone suffer greatly?

Posted by
NOTHINGMAN
on Jan 2 2019 at 03:22
Member since: 02 January 2019
Health advice Last year, I attempted suicide. That came after about three years of untreated anxiety and depression which eventually turned into panic disorder (I was having daily, severe panic attacks)—no one knew, I’d gotten good at hiding it.

Now, almost a full year later I have gone through a lot. One of my close friends told me she intended to commit suicide, but through a lot of work and lots of scary nights I managed to get her into see a counselor, and she is recovering.

My younger brother is showing signs of anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation. He talks about how he feels worthless. He loves to write, but recently his writing has turned almost exclusively to the topic of suicide.

My girlfriend has an untreated eating disorder, and she refuses to get help. She is dangerously skinny. Her mother essentially abuses her which contributes greatly to her low self esteem.

Two more of my friends are depressed, and have attempted to harm themselves.

My whole world is filled with people suffering. Many of the people close to me confide their feelings and pain in me, but I really can’t handle it any more.

Last year I attempted suicide. I will never do that again. It almost destroyed my family. But I have started heavily drinking. I know that’s the wrong way to handle the situation, but I don’t really care. I’m so overwhelmed, and weary, and no therapist can allevaite that as immediately as alcohol.

I’m not going to say this to any of my friends or family because they all rely on me, so I’m saying it here. It’s not the most healthy way to approach the problem, but it’s better than nothing.

Why does everyone suffer greatly?
Reply from
ALTREAL
on Jan 2 2019 at 07:55
Member since: 20 August 2015
Hi Nothingman,

I'm sorry for your situation. I know life has its ups and downs, but I think the disappointment can wear on you after a while.

We don't live a perfect existence, but I try to focus instead on how amazing it is that things have worked out as well as they have in this life. Our bodies for the most part are impressive machines. Our progresses in technology and complex thought and communication. We even have toilets and sewer systems that take our waste directly out of our homes and into facilities where the water is cleaned once again.

I know that doesn't always distract from the confrontations and horrors of daily life, but it's a start. A lot of things about life are also great, and almost miracles, even. You exist and can think and experience life. That's something.

Alcohol, I've relied on it a lot this past year, but I don't really know how much it helps. I think it causes new problems. I used to think it helped me take the edge off and deal with issues. Instead I think it just slowly deteriorates your health and makes you forget for an hour or two while you do stupid things.

You've been trying to help your friends deal with their issues and it seems like you may have really helped one or two of them. That's good. But realize it's not your job as a friend to be a constant counselor to people, either. Sometimes not focusing on the issues and just appreciating each others' company and talking about other stuff is nice and helps put people in better moods.

I'm hoping some other people will comment here as well, but I hope this is helpful advice to you. Sometimes all you can do is try to lighten the mood and try not to dwell on the bad things you can't change.

Why does everyone suffer greatly?
Reply from
ALTREAL
on Jan 3 2019 at 03:18
Member since: 20 August 2015
You know what, Nothingman? I'm going to modify my answer from last night a bit.

In regards to the alcohol thing, I really don't see anything wrong with having a drink or two to loosen up. I think sometimes we need it. And I'm not sure if there is a better way to alleviate things other than sleep.

Just stop once you feel loosened up. Overdoing it brings no good.

Why does everyone suffer greatly?
Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Jan 3 2019 at 10:58
Member since: 27 December 2013
Your question is valid: why is there suffering?

Well, that has perplexed people for all time. The Buddists believe that life IS suffering and we must accept life’s suffering, (which is really change), in order to survive.

Some people have a lower tolerance than others. Friends around you have fallen apart. You helped out as much as you can. You showed much strength and compassion. But that can zap a person’s energy and pull you down if you don’t get supported yourself.

2019 has to be YOUR year. Be selfish about your own health, mentally and physically. That doesn’t mean throwing away your friends, but it does mean lessening how much they pull from you.

Surround yourself with healthy productive people and volunteer at a children’s center or hospital to help people who are really suffering.

(You don’t mention your age, but alcohol is not the answer, in fact, it’s a depressant. Try exercise or meditation. May sound boring, but there’s no hangover!)

Why does everyone suffer greatly?
Reply from
ALTREAL
on Jan 5 2019 at 03:42
Member since: 20 August 2015
...actually, sorry to keep yanking you around Nothingman, but Susie is right about the alcohol.

It's only 4 days into the new year and now I've already had two lousy days due to alcohol. Look, nothing good comes of it. You lose money, lose control, and wind up embarrassed.

Exercise and meditation may work wonders, Idk. There's also sleep. So we have some options here. But I can assure you the alcohol will just worsen your problems.

Why does everyone suffer greatly?
Reply from
NOTHINGMAN
on Jan 5 2019 at 20:13
Member since: 02 January 2019
I don’t know, sleep often doesn’t come easily. And the less I sleep the easier it is for anxiety to take a hold over me, and the more anxiety I have the less I sleep...so the cycle continues. Granted you don’t get the best sleep when you’re drunk, but it’s better than nothing.

I’ve done both meditation and exercise and they can be helpful, but that requires a lifestyle and it takes time. Those are little things that all added together, and combined with good luck can make for less anxiety.

I really haven’t found anything that works as immediately as drinking—even medication provided by professionals isn’t as powerful. I am entirely aware of the consequences because I have to face them every time I do it, but I somehow still don’t care. And at this point I’m having a really hard time stopping myself.

Why does everyone suffer greatly?
Reply from
ALTREAL
on Jan 6 2019 at 08:11
Member since: 20 August 2015
Hey Nothingman,

Well don't say I didn't warn you. If your idea of "worth it" means getting into car accidents and being stranded overnight, being without a vehicle and trying to do anything, sleeping with questionable people (of questionable honesty, mentality and age) out of desperation, vomiting all over your house and ruining new things you just bought, getting sexually aggressive with unwanted touching, and and getting into verbal arguments and potentially physical altercations with people over complicated body language and reactions you can't process... Then go for it!

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