SHOULDBEHAPPY - Jan 5 2019 at 21:21
I have a massive problem.
My anxiety is causing relationship problems.
The struggle is that i that i dont actually think he will cheat on me. Im that messed up, that him looking at a woman that i think is better looking than me causes anxiety, cos i know he'll be thinking of her while we're together, or wanting to end our relationship for her.
Am i the only one who thinks like this?
There's a meme on the Internet that I still see fairly often. It shows a couple laying in bed, facing opposite directions. Usually the woman has a speech bubble that says something like, "I wonder if he is thinking about other girls?" The guy will usually be thinking about something dumb like, "Why didn't the coyote just order food from ACME?"
In a lot of cases it's true, usually people are thinking about whatever random things they usually think about anyway.
Sometimes your partner will find other women attractive and think about them. And that's fine, it's not like every other woman in the world just died and you're now the only one left. Now that would be a very scary situation for you both.
One of the greatest gifts in life is that people look different. If all women were identical, it would be like taking away color from the world kinda. And then you might not stick out physically from other girls, either. Now I bet you hadn't given much thought to that! But people like to admire the differences.
As long as he doesn't develop feelings for another woman, you're probably a-ok.
Relationships can break down, and in most cases they do. But as long as there aren't a lot of red flags popping up then chances are yours is fine.
You definitely aren't the only one who thinks like this. When we really like someone we become vulnerable and open ourselves up to potential heartbreak if things don't go well.
I think you need to address the underlying cause of your anxiety: "him looking at a woman that i think is better looking than me" I'm sure your boyfriend isn't only with you because of your looks, but because also he likes all the other things not superficial that he connects with like your personality and your spirit. If you truly value and love yourself, you wouldn't let your fears dictate the outcome of this relationship.
Good luck, I hope you find the joy in this relationship xx