Is this the right thing to do?
So recently my girlfriend broke up with me. The worst part has to be if her life wasn’t as bad as it is right now, it’s my belief, we would still be happily together. She has a lot on her plate right now, supporting both her and her mother on a $10per hour job, working full time, in an extremely social environment, all while she has terrible social anxiety that she doesn’t want to medicate. And apparently, talking with one of her friends, that I’m also very close to, there’s something else that has been bothering her. She’s recently been trying to get her mom on disability due to her back problems and I assume there’s difficulties or something along the lines of that, but I’m not sure entirely. Her friend didn’t want to go into to much detail due to how personal it was but she did tell me the two things were related.
Personally I’ve taken this breakup terribly. I’ve always wanted someone I could say I loved and have that feeling returned. And after my many years of trial and error in the war zone that is dating, she has been the only light at the end of the tunnel. Granted I’m “only 21” and “I have my whole life ahead of me.” But the feelings I have for her, could only be expressed through the most elaborate poetry, of which I most definitely could not compose.
I’ve also been either despressed or I’m bipolar or... Something. I CAN defiantly say something might not be right my head, and I might go see a therapist about it eventually but honestly... I was the happiest I’ve ever been with her. The feeling was, unlike any I’ve ever experienced. She wouldn’t even need to be with me. Just the thought that I had this wonderful girl who cared as much as she did dating me... It would make my day amazing no matter what was happening, and it was like I was never sad to begin with, like I was cured of a disease before I even released I was sick. Now however, I’m back in my pit of what ever you want to call it and it’s gotten deeper.
To fix this, I’ve created a strageity that in my mind, with all the information I have, I think it’s the most righteous and most absolute thing I could do to help myself. I’m going to self improve like a madman. Start exercising more, take better care for myself, work more, excel at my job, and when school comes back around excel in my studies. I also would like to start getting closer to my ex. I really care about her and I don’t want us to end over a break up. I wanna be the best friend I can be, and try my best to help her through the things I couldn’t as her partner but I can as a friend. Hopefully this might lead to us getting back together eventually, but if not, hopefully I’ll atleast have her as a friend.
Seem like a plausible solution or should I go back to the drawing board?
I’ve actually started before I even posted this. I figured, out of all my ideas, it was the only one that I was confident enough in to not ask anyone before I started pressing it. In fact, the only people who know have read it on here. Though I do plan on letting a few of my closer friends in on the exciting news eventually, perhaps when I start making progress?