Rationalization vs reality
I recently learned that my husband of 15 years had been having an emotional/sexting/phone sex affair for the past few months with a woman he met on this site after posting his thoughts and frustrations with our marriage. I found the messages, which were deeply hurtful as is violated every firmly held belied I has about us. What's more confusing is I was told that he never stopped loving me or our family. He also shared that the person he met was also married with a small child (our child's age) and was frustrated in her marriage as well.....rationalized the intamacy/feelings of being desired as a reason for his actions....the affair was "complimentary" not "contractictory" and a means of being better in our marriage. Needless to say, this did not achieve the desired effect. This is nothing new, but id like to use this thread to advocate for marriage therapy before betraying and violating trusts and bonds made. Even if yointhibk the outcome will be fruitless.... I assure you, it can't be worse than the fall out of discovering or concealing an affair.