Too many problems
I have 3 problems hope you can help. the first one is that I asked my husband if a ex got intouch would he tell me he said he did not know and that he might not because he would want nothing to do with her. but we have been together 26 years so should he not tell me . is he after having a affair or getting to know her again if he did not tell me about her getting intouch. he also said if he had to much to drink he would be anybodies. so is he saying he would sleep with any woman who came along, he denies he means this and said because he does not drink it would go straight to his head and that other people have said the same thing. but now I doubt him and think would he cheat on me. the second problem is that we once lived in a area where his ex was only 10 minutes away by car. he said he was looking for somewhere for us to live as i was expecting our first child and he did not move there because of his ex being close by. I did not think at the time about him thinking of his exs but now years later I wonder why we moved to that area when we could of lived anywhere we wanted to. he told me once that he met a guy who was dating a woman from the same area as i was from and that they are the best but all his exs where from the same area so does he mean them not me. this as made me wonder what the real reason was we moved to the area where his ex was not far away even thou she cheated on him. the third problem is that we have three kids and our youngest son recently went to his friends funeral. he had not saw his friend in 8 years and he went to the funeral where we used to live 10 years ago. this as bought all memories back that I wanted to forget. there were people in the area that I never wanted to think of again but they are in my life again all these years later. we used to say hello to the parents at the school where our kids went but we were never really friends with them. there was one woman who had a son who hung around with my son and she her son to football. my husband used to always take our son and one day I took him instead and she asked where my husband was, I did not think to ask her why she wanted to know but I think something might of one on between my husband and her but he denies it. also they once went on a fun day out with another couple and there kids and my husband came back all happy. he said because he was with our kids but I think it was because she was there. she used to always look over at us at football practice. we moved away and I was trying to put it to the back of my mind if my husband cheated and moved on now all these years later she is in my head again because my son met her and her son at the funeral and now she know where we live and what we do. im wondering if she might try to contact my husband in someway. I wanted to forget that part of my life now it is destroying me and maybe my marriage as I am considering leaving my husband.
you have deep seated problems that require psychological support if these hypothetical petty issues are driving you toward divorcing your DH. I see no reason why he should tell you if he pushes away from other women's come ons. picking a home near an ex he planned to play around with makes no sense. he would want to distance her and you for obvious reasons. a woman asking about your husband surely would not be his AP. if they were messing around behind you she would avoid contact with you.
Hopefully professional counsel will help you find happiness rather than seeking out martial problems that probably are non existent. there are many ways to detect if DH is cheating. check his phone for messages to dames. check his clothing for female smell, marks or leaving. note any changes in frequency and techniques in sex with you. ask friends if they notice any changes in your DH. keep tabs on his free time activities. Worst case hire a private detective to trail his actions.