RSS Feed

To give in or not to give in?

Posted by
SHOCKEDMARILYN
on Feb 4 2019 at 23:22
Member since: 04 February 2019
Relationship advice I'm married to my husband for five years. We had a really great start and were very much in love. My daughter has some issues with Bipolar and had a child within the five years of our marriage and ultimately some of the responsibility of raising my grandson fell upon me. My daughter and grandson moved in with us for a short period of time until she got too disrespectful and I had to ask her to leave. This devastated me but it wasn't fair to my marriage and she was being way out of hand. THIS is NOT the problem...now comes my real issue...about 2 years ago I developed a horrible cough..I was told it was both Bronchitis AND Pneumonia. It never went away. I was tested for allergies (blood test) and was told I was allergic to the dog (my husband brought into the marriage).

I was put on asthma medications. No help. The doctors then suggested my problem was Sarcoidosis. Lung specialist looked at my chest xray and CT scan and said the nodule was not Sarcoidosis but he agreed I had asthma. Nothing seemed to help the severe wheezing despite the rounds of Prednisone, antibiotics, anti inflammatory meds etc. I then saw a Rheumatologist. He agreed it could be Sarcoidosis. Prednisone again for a month. I became very ill being barely able to breathe. The dog was kept in a "man cave" bottom level of our home...he had dog beds, blankets food a huge backyard to play and my husband sleeps down there every night with him. I even purchased an ongoing television subscription called "DOG TV" for him to keep him company.

I was hospitalized twice in (6) months. The last hospitalization I tried to refuse the direct admit from my doctor's office and she told me if I did not go to the hospital as directed I would be needing a ventilator to breathe. So, of course, I went. They performed a Bronchoscopy. No Sarcoidosis but a lot of fluid and "plugs" in my lungs. I could barely walk or breathe without being out of breath for the past two years. I was on large doses of prednisone in the hospital and out of it. The last hospitalization my husband had to go home and let the dog out and cut the grass after work before coming to see me. My family was furious and mentioned how sad it was that he put the dog before his wife.

Now, my asthma is slowly being controlled. I am on the right medication and on a good path...now my husband insists on another blood test or allergy test to be SURE it is his dog that I am allergic to AND he insists that I get on immunotherapy or allergy shots so that his dog does not have to be "isolated".

I just cannot believe my ears. I had read a text from his daughter also not long ago between my husband and her stating that she didn't "buy that I am allergic to the dog". My husband states that if I love him I would do this for him and if I dont then there is no reason for us to stay married. My husband has also become verbally abusive calling me horrible names, screaming and yelling and calling my family names (racist , racist pigs). claiming that they dont like him because he is Mexican. He also has a criminal history. My daughter has made comments and others have as well that he is using me for money in that my salary is almost double what his is.

I do love this man and I am so hurt and furious all at once that he would ask for proof of the allergy blood test that I am opposed to proving anything to him.

Please help with your opinion..sorry it's a lot of story....

To give in or not to give in?
Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Feb 6 2019 at 21:58
Member since: 27 December 2013
Have you had an opportunity to be away from the house for at least 6 days? If so, how did you feel?

Your Dr needs to be in this conversation. He should be the one to give the news that its the dig dander that is bithering you - or not.

Have the full allergy workup. Then go from there.

You may have some decisions to make, and you want to consider all possibilities.