Please help me end this confusion
Hi all I’ll try and give as much info hear without making it too long
So basically I met a girl just over 2 years ago we went on a date but then decided to just be friends which was my choice after being told by a mutual friend of her ex partner she had betrayed him
,we continued the friendship and got on well she confessed she had feelings for me but as much as I fealt the same I brushed it off as I wanted to see if she was trustworthy,after around a year it became too much to deny and I opened up to her I’d fell in love with her
We got together but she was very cold and uninterested
so to cut a long story short after many mishaps and a year long relationship of problems with a 3 month separation due to her lieing about a guy friend sending texts of a sexual nature deleting an denying the were inappropriate to protect him from me confronting him and causing embarrassment for either of them ,it resulted in me having a breakdown and losing my job due to long term sick leave with mental health problems
When we reunited I tried my best to work through our problems because of how I fealt and believed she fealt until i gave up as it was constantly one sided again and she refused to communicate or acknowledge there was any problem
We broke up ,for around 5 weeks ,she today had asked to talk and told me she didn’t realise she wasn’t in love with me until recently and us splitting up made her realise and that explains why she didn’t make an effort and showed so many signs she didn’t care ,but now she says she does love me and if I love her I should be willing to try again ,
But I just can’t get over the hurt of being told she never really loved me all this time despite saying she did and constantly being the only one trying ,
Does she deserve another chance after so many ? I still love her and it’s broke me hearing that all that time she had no feelings or do I just try to move on and try to get over it ?
I know it sounds very messy an complicated but the way my mind is at present I’m finding it hard to know what to do and already suffering with deep clinical depression
Any advise appreciated please
Work on yourself first. Get healthy (therapy, diet, medication)
Then you will be able to get involved with another person in a romantic way.
Thank you for your response,I’ve had counselling ,tried yoga ,healthy diet etc
Okay, so let me say this first that I applaud you for posting and reaching out for help. It sounds like there was some unfortunate mishaps that occurred in the relationship. I agree 110% with the prior comment before that you need to focus on yourself and I suggest you seek referall services to a counselor and also seek a psychiatrist for medication purposes. I don't think you need to give her a chance since I think you can agree with me that we cant change the way people are unless they want to for themselves. I think the best thing for you is to move on with your life and stay focused. It is unhealthy for you to keep making a half "pull and push". I wish you the best of luck and I hpe you do find the closure you need in a safe and resourceful way
Best of Luck!
Hello, By all means gets this woman out of your life! She will only "betray you again" this is who she is...I always try to remind people that when a person shows you who they are BELIEVE THEM the first time. I suspect she's in between men and wants a safe place to land.
Cut her off! Remember to love yourself enough to walk away. You deserve better..
Thank you all for taking time to help ,the girl contacted 3 days ago to say she couldn’t believe I wasn’t prepared to try again if I loved her after her being honest and this is why she’s never told me the truth because she knew I’d get upset by it
I just replied “see it from my point of view” yesterday I got a text saying she did it for me as a selfless act to make me hate her so I could move on and she’s putting me first ,I’ve now blocked her number and any social media accounts
I’ve spoke to a counsellor who suggests the girl had a narcissistic personality and has “brainwashed “ me and because I loved her and was determined it could work out and maybe she saw that and used it to manipulate me and that’s what in the opinion of the counsellor ultimately broke me ,sad thing is even now I still care for her ,
i now know I have to forget her and any possibility of us ,it means a lot you all taking time to help and give advice ,it’s tough when you’ve not really got anyone to talk to or give advice