Horrible Valentine's Day - how to fix this?
We are an older couple, both widowed, living together. I planned a very nice VDay meal, hoping to really focus on each other and help each other feel special and loved. His clueless but sweet Best Friend showed up, wanting to share his findings for a problem we have with our rental. Ok, that's nice. But. It's Valentine's Day.
After a while, I asked him if he wanted to join us for dinner, for me that's what you do when someone shows up at mealtime, but I was inwardly hoping he'd eaten early like always and/or realize he could be imposing and leave. No such luck, but we had a nice meal.He left at 7:30. I asked BF if he knew his buddy was coming over, he said no. Ok. We sat on the loveseat, I swung my legs over his lap (clearly not hostile lol) and said I wasn't happy. I was hurt he didn't tell his friend that we had plans because it was VDay. BF felt that would have been not nice cuz his buddy did spend much time researching solutions to our problem. I cried, he got angry and defensive. I took a shower, came downstairs to read. He went up, took a shower and announced he was going to bed. Ugh. What a disaster. Any suggestions? Was I wrong?
Sounds like your evening got interrupted by two men who have no clue about Valentine day. Did you give your man “notice” about how special this was evening was to you? Otherwise, this is a day like all others.
You were disappointed the evening didn’t turn out exactly the way you wanted. But after the “nice dinner” there was plenty of time (after 7:30) to ramp up the romance.
Do a re- play of the evening - giving him lots of notice. Then turn off the phone, pull the shades and lock the door.
Some people really are "NONSENSE" and this is a fact. Unfortunately we're needed to deal with inconvenient people every day. You were polite and did not ask you to withdraw.
Wouldn't it be better to have told the truth?
If you'd quietly told him that you were in a moment with your husband, would not he leave?
Sometimes what these people need is someone who tells them the truth. Do not you think you should have tried?
If it were you? Would you prefer to be inconvenient without knowing or would you rather be advised?
Be honest whenever you need to. This helps you not to get frustrated later.