-We didn't think it was a big deal, we were joking about it a year later, and an upperclassman overheard us.
-He started spreading it, yelling it to me in the halls, making fun of me, I went along with it because I still thought it was funny for some reason, I think he spread it was because the teacher was attractive, finally I told him what actually happened and we became cool with each other.
-Only heard it brought up by 4 or 5 people the rest of high school, still had a great time in school.
Now, at 24, I was in school and working hard, living a normal life. Was still friends with all my high school friends and everything, it's a small community. Hadn't heard it brought up since 2011. Then I had a mental breakdown! Had myself thinking I was a weirdo for that. I know it was wrong, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I've asked quite a few people if they "remember any rumors about me from high school." and so far nobodies said anything. I brought it up to a few close friends, and they said they kind of remembered.
My question is, am I terrible? Is it possible that people really don't remember? Maybe not as many people as I thought thought that about me? I haven't been able to let it go lately.
you are still in school so possess opportunity to right your wrong. if let someone you like watch you and do full term for him or her enjoyment I think you can forgive your failures of the past.
You have allowd this one incident to define your life’s self esteem.
Please seek counseling to help you resolve this anger and frightening flashbacks.
Are you dating now?
It's weird, because I never really thought of it for the past 8 or so years.. even the years after that happened in high school I had a great time..probably only got bullied by that one kid for 2-3 weeks then only asked about it 4 or 5 times the rest of school. Then all at once it's like I had a breakdown. For some reason it made me feel like it was deserved?
I started going to a therapist in October but for some reason was afraid to tell her what it was about. Even when I look at other people I think "Would they still like me if they knew about this incident?". I don't know, it's weird.. I wish I could just get back on track with life and be happy.
I think a male therapist would be of help to you to put this behind you. You're not weird; just embarrassed by your own stupidly.