Masturbated in weird place at 14? Need advice?
YAMS94 - Feb 15 2019 at 23:00
-When I was 14 in 2008, bet my buddy that I could masturbate in class with nobody noticing, we thought it was hilarious (obviously extremely stupid looking back, never did anything like that before or after), I tried and couldn't really do it then stopped.
-We didn't think it was a big deal, we were joking about it a year later, and an upperclassman overheard us.
-He started spreading it, yelling it to me in the halls, making fun of me, I went along with it because I still thought it was funny for some reason, I think he spread it was because the teacher was attractive, finally I told him what actually happened and we became cool with each other.
-Only heard it brought up by 4 or 5 people the rest of high school, still had a great time in school.
Now, at 24, I was in school and working hard, living a normal life. Was still friends with all my high school friends and everything, it's a small community. Hadn't heard it brought up since 2011. Then I had a mental breakdown! Had myself thinking I was a weirdo for that. I know it was wrong, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I've asked quite a few people if they "remember any rumors about me from high school." and so far nobodies said anything. I brought it up to a few close friends, and they said they kind of remembered.
My question is, am I terrible? Is it possible that people really don't remember? Maybe not as many people as I thought thought that about me? I haven't been able to let it go lately.
Thanks for the reply, I probably should have noted that I never exposed myself lol
I had 2 long term girlfriends from age 18-23 without much of a break in between, but I've been single for about a year.
It's weird, because I never really thought of it for the past 8 or so years.. even the years after that happened in high school I had a great time..probably only got bullied by that one kid for 2-3 weeks then only asked about it 4 or 5 times the rest of school. Then all at once it's like I had a breakdown. For some reason it made me feel like it was deserved?
I started going to a therapist in October but for some reason was afraid to tell her what it was about. Even when I look at other people I think "Would they still like me if they knew about this incident?". I don't know, it's weird.. I wish I could just get back on track with life and be happy.
Thanks a lot for your response !
File this under "Young & Dumb" You were 14 yrs old; 14 yr old boys do really dumb things. I think you are re-living the incident as if it had become a bigger issue; and the consequences you would have faced. Ten years later you know how "Stupid" this peer pressure bet was... We've all done something stupid in our youth.
I think a male therapist would be of help to you to put this behind you. You're not weird; just embarrassed by your own stupidly.