Masturbated in weird place at 14? Need advice?
-When I was 14 in 2008, bet my buddy that I could masturbate in class with nobody noticing, we thought it was hilarious (obviously extremely stupid looking back, never did anything like that before or after), I tried and couldn't really do it then stopped.
-We didn't think it was a big deal, we were joking about it a year later, and an upperclassman overheard us.
-He started spreading it, yelling it to me in the halls, making fun of me, I went along with it because I still thought it was funny for some reason, I think he spread it was because the teacher was attractive, finally I told him what actually happened and we became cool with each other.
-Only heard it brought up by 4 or 5 people the rest of high school, still had a great time in school.
Now, at 24, I was in school and working hard, living a normal life. Was still friends with all my high school friends and everything, it's a small community. Hadn't heard it brought up since 2011. Then I had a mental breakdown! Had myself thinking I was a weirdo for that. I know it was wrong, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I've asked quite a few people if they "remember any rumors about me from high school." and so far nobodies said anything. I brought it up to a few close friends, and they said they kind of remembered.
My question is, am I terrible? Is it possible that people really don't remember? Maybe not as many people as I thought thought that about me? I haven't been able to let it go lately.
when i was your age I had two classes with guy I was going with. he whipped it out for me to see as well as few onlookers who smiled at me. he made it foam a few times. so that is not unusual if you dedicate to your sweetheart. i think your depression is caused by failure to launch and was not done as a tribute to someone who you loved.
you are still in school so possess opportunity to right your wrong. if let someone you like watch you and do full term for him or her enjoyment I think you can forgive your failures of the past.
Thanks for the reply, I probably should have noted that I never exposed myself lol
Trying to succeed without getting a good handle on it probably effected the failed outcome. Hopefully now you understand the importance freedom of movement to successful completion. Would work if you were female but male organ needs to be unincumbered during masterbation from my experience.
It isn’t about masturbation - this is about being humiliated and bullied and feeling helpless about it at age 14.
You have allowd this one incident to define your life’s self esteem.
Please seek counseling to help you resolve this anger and frightening flashbacks.
Are you dating now?
I had 2 long term girlfriends from age 18-23 without much of a break in between, but I've been single for about a year.
It's weird, because I never really thought of it for the past 8 or so years.. even the years after that happened in high school I had a great time..probably only got bullied by that one kid for 2-3 weeks then only asked about it 4 or 5 times the rest of school. Then all at once it's like I had a breakdown. For some reason it made me feel like it was deserved?
I started going to a therapist in October but for some reason was afraid to tell her what it was about. Even when I look at other people I think "Would they still like me if they knew about this incident?". I don't know, it's weird.. I wish I could just get back on track with life and be happy.
Find an older male therapist who can help you put this very normal adolescent behavior in its place.
Thanks a lot for your response !
File this under "Young & Dumb" You were 14 yrs old; 14 yr old boys do really dumb things. I think you are re-living the incident as if it had become a bigger issue; and the consequences you would have faced. Ten years later you know how "Stupid" this peer pressure bet was... We've all done something stupid in our youth.
I think a male therapist would be of help to you to put this behind you. You're not weird; just embarrassed by your own stupidly.
Don't understand why everyone say need therapy for normal biological urges like whacking off
My point exactly! There is no shame, yet these feelings of peer guilt and humiliation are there some 10 years later. He needs to find out why.