I am struggling with everything at the moment and don't know what to do. I have been married for 6 years. My husband has a great job. He moved to another country for it. His colleagues admire him and he is successful. I moved out to be with him a few years ago. I don't speak the local language well. I have no close friends here and know only a few people. I'm naturally a sociable person but have struggled to find friends here. My husband doesn't need much social interaction to thrive. I have been supporting him in his work, attending work social events for example. I am not doing well in my work at all, I struggle to get out of bed before 10 or 11 am. I used to be very good in my work but now can't focus any more. I cook our meals and do the shopping. Most of the time my husband works late and when he is home he is grumpy. He is succeeding in his work and I am crumbling away. Sometimes I tell him I think about killing myself and he says "don't do that" but that's the end of the conversation. Sometimes he thinks I am holding him back but if I question him about details he doesn't have good answers and says so himself. What should I do?
You say "he thinks I am holding him back" but when you question him he doesn't give you good answers. What explanations has he given you?
Do you have a job as well? How long was it before you joined him in this new country?
I think being in a new country; having few friends and a husband who feels you're holding him back could make anybody feel depressed.
You and your husband need marriage counseling to address your depression as well as his attitude towards you. You really need to get to the bottom of why he feels you're holding him back. When he says he doesn't have any good answers for why he feels this way; he's lying he knows.