I can start by saying that i have perfect life. My parent love me, i live in a nice house, soon i will finish school with good grades and i also have a dog, who has been my best friend since childhood. To be honest, i don't really know why i am writing this, but i think i am little messed up in the head.
I have always been overweight. My whole life actually. Until school i never thought about it. I was happy being myself, but even now i can clearly remember when i was made fun of for the first time. Of course you can say that it is normal for young children to be like that. Everybody was made fun of or acted stupid in grade school, but somehow it left somewhat of an impact on me. Maybe i am just an overly sensitive person, but since then i don't have a good relationship with food.
Some days i can starve for a long periods of time, but it always comes to the point, when i just give up and end up eating everything in the fridge. And the saddest part is that i don't even enjoy it. I just feel like, if I don't eat something now, the world is gonna end. Like it is my obligation to eat like a pig for the rest of my life.
So, i am a female, who is 5'9 and my weight is 234lbs. I am scared of people, like to spend time alone, often cry at night and the only problem i have is a big number on a scale.
Have you shared your concern with your Dr.?
When is the last time you had a good physical?
Losing weight is best done with a partner or in a group setting with others who face the same desire. There are free groups that will welcome you.
You sound like you are ready to make some changes. Let us know what you are deciding to do.