Leaving my emotionally dominating partner is proving harder than I thought
I think this might be the first time i have used a forum of any kind or gone to seek advice from an online community, so hey here goes!
I am a straight male and have been with my partner for about 2.5 years. I want to avoid making a character assassination as nobody is perfect and we all have our baggage. She is generous, kind and thoughtful, very socially outgoing/confident and driven in her career. For these things i respect her a lot. I have however over the last 6 months been feeling very isolated and lonely in our relationship. Very early on i noticed she would get incredibly upset about issues with friends, work, or family, housemates etc on a very regular basis. I was happy to listen but over a longer period of time i felt like I was serving as an emotional bounce board not as a partner with my own voice and thoughts. I also noticed her family and friends serve a similar purpose to me. It got to a point where i started to feel incredibly tense, anxious and stressed when she would come home or we sat down together. She of course would leave the conversation feeling better and i would be left to chew over her problems and my own also. On one occasion i was working from home, she walked into my office as i was in the middle of something, sat down and without me saying a word talked at me from the doorway for half an hour and left. I felt like a piece of shit and began to grow apart from her romantically and sexually in a very drastic way. I tried to explain to her how i felt but she attributed this to my own insecurities or mental health, if i were or am to ever push the issue further she becomes incredibly angry and upset and physically leaves the discussion ending any further conversation on her own terms. I feel more alone than ever, she screams and slams doors when i cant satisfy her expectations and refuses to answer my questions. I plan to move out and need advice on how to continue sharing a space with her until i can make further steps.
Many thanks for listening.
Well , you aren’t a therapist, so I can see why you would become upset and feel used if someone was trying to get therapeutic counseling from someone not trained in that feild.
But are you getting irritated by everyone who talks to you lately?
When DO you two have blocked- out time for each other? And what would you like to talk about with her?