Long relationship problems...
Hello! I have some problems in my relationship, and I would love some advice!
Me and my boyfriend have been together for more than a year, and weāve been talking for 2 years now. We live in different cities but we still see eachother every weekend as we both make an effort for this. This summer I will be going to Spain for 6 months for an internship and he will be leaving for his internship when I come back from Spain. That means that we will be away from eachother for one year.
Lately Iāve been feeling that something was off and that he was acting a bit strange. I asked him several times what is wrong, but I got my answer just a week ago. His feelings have been down, because he is having doubts about our relationship. He thinks that the year we are going to be apart is going to break us and we will fall out of love. He wanted to break up with me through a letter he wrote, but he said that he couldnāt do it because when he saw me he realized how much he actually cares about me. He is still having his doubts and acting a bit strange and I am afraid that he actually fell out of love with me. I might also just overthink it too..but I donāt know how to react to him and what kind of conversations to have about this.
I could use a bit of advice āŗļø I appreciate it that someone actually read the story till here!!
I don't understand why he wanted to break up with you in a letter if he cares so much about you. He should tell it in person. The fact that he has already written the letter implies that he has put his decision in words he was just afraid to hurt you by giving it to you <- this means he really cares about you, but caring is not enough for a healthy relationship. Have you talked about each other's feelings? There is nothing emberassing in this he is probably the closest person to you, thus, the best person to discuss this thing with. I, as a stranger, believe if either of you feels your relationship (or nourishing it) is pressuring them, you shouldn't continue.
He wrote it and tried to read it to me in person. We had this discussion face to face and after reading the letter, he burst into tears and asked for me to forgive him. We talked about it and we are trying to work it out. He is scared that when we are away for so long from eachother weāre going to stop loving eachother. That is his reason why he wanted to break up.. and I donāt know how to react to it
Do you two really want to spend these precious days together fighting/crying/worrying about what will happen in the future?
Make a promise to each other to keep in touch during the time apart BUT be realistic that LD relationships are difficult for young people to maintain.
In the meantime, enjoy the time together and meet whatever comes when it comes.
Try not to stresst about it. You are young, care about your studies and yourself.