My online friend and I haven’t spoken in nearly 4 months, and it’s starting to get to me. This isn’t the first time my friend has been gone for a long time; the first two times they had 1) forgot their password to their account, and 2)Family drama. I found those times relatively justifiable and would have done the same this time if it weren’t for a few details keeping me skeptical. For starters, they disappeared mid conversation this time. This comes after they had been gone because of said family drama, and I naturally assumed that to be the main reason as to why they were gone. Fast forward about 4 months, and as you would have it we have not exchanged a single word with each other. During the entire ordeal I pushed the thoughts about my friend to the back of my head and decided to go on about life, and I was actually a bit comfortable with them being gone, that is until I opened Instagram. I hadn’t actually logged onto my profile in a while, and I just wanted to poke around a bit, but then I noticed that my friend had been active not that long ago. After doing a bit of recon over the course of a week or so I noticed that they’ve been logging in nearly every day at around a specific period, and cross-referencing that with the lack of posts, likes, and comments I concluded that they were messaging somebody else. This isn’t the first time that this has happened either, around late 2018 I began to notice that my friend would be online for periods of time on the app we chat on (Like they are doing on Instagram) and was not messaging me. I am aware of the fact that they have other friends, and I am not the only person they talk to and I couldn’t care less if they didn’t want to talk to me. However, IF they have been speaking to other people aside from me for this long then I feel that they should just say they don't want to talk anymore. I would appreciate your thoughts on the situation, I need to finally get this weight off of my shoulders.
What is holding you up from dropping them a message like: “ Hey, haven’t heard from you in a long time. What’s up?”
Nothing lasts forever, so you can't stay in touch with everyone you know forever.
Every person you know, there will come a last time that you talk to them. Alot of times you don't realise it's the last time until much later.
I think the last time might have come for you and your friend.
Although it's up to you if you want to let that be a depressing thought, or one that gifts you perspective.
If you keep it close to mind then you will cherish every moment you spend with everyone you know. Surely that's a good thing.
If you say so,I'll keep that in mind.Thanks for the help.
You say this is an online friend, so I take it to mean this is someone who you've never met, that likely lives far from you.
I have a few people I talk to like this. We've kept in touch for a really long time, but there have been long periods where we didn't talk as much, and some years we might not have talked at all.
As far as online friendships go, they either last or they don't. I think most people move on with their lives and accept the friendship will never evolve much. Some people have time for online friends and will keep in touch for a long time, possibly even meet up one day. But most people don't have time for online friends, and they already live a pretty full life.
I think it's important to stop obsessing over this one person, and to focus on yourself and find friends who do want to stay in touch more often. Hopefully some friends you can hang out with in person.
You don't have control over other people, and ultimately they're gonna do what they feel like doing. I understand where you're coming from, I've tried to get acquaintances and friends to go do something many times over the years, but usually most of them are too busy, or want to hang out with different people.
Recently I caught up with some people I hadn't talked to in months. A lot of them barely responded, but some had pleasant conversations with me. You know, it is what it is, and not everyone is going to make an effort.
Actually right now I'm talking to someone, and they give brief responses most of the time. But they do respond, and so far it seems like I'm giving them enough space that I'm not completely smothering them. It would be cool if we could just jump right into conversation and gel with people, but it's not always like that.
My advice? Keep contact with your friend, but back off a lot. They'll talk to you if/when they want to. Otherwise, focus on your own life and making new friends.