Am feeling really emotional lately and my ex back contacted me through Instagram (he actually came back twice but he also disappeared twice for long periods of time -the first time for 5 months and then 1.5 years) before New Years. Though I was needy from the get-go ( I didn't have any friends and no job so I can understand why someone would want to run). In any case, he moved back home to the US where he's originally from because he was studying for his PhD in Canada when we met (somehow he thought or expected that I knew he had relocated, which I don't understand cause he never vocalized that he was even leaving, or that he would block me me on social media again). When I responded to him initially on Instagram (back in January 2019), I inquired about his reason for cutting contact and he explained that he knew he was leaving and he retrieved into his cave and he hates himself that he discarded me the second time. After a month of thinking about his request to message me on Insta, I opened up communication again but told him I want to take it slow. And he did say he hates himself for ghosting me. But anyways, he constantly writes that he misses me and wants me to visit him and at first I was up for it as I hadn't gone anywhere for like 15 years but then when I asked him for details about when he wants me to come see him and for how long he said "oh like maybe in 2 or three months or the summer...? So, I am not sure why he can wait so long if he truly misses me...?. It's not that I expect him to just drop everything and fly over to see me, but I just don't think I am seeing real initiative...? This was about a month ago and the only communication I get from him is "wish you were here right now" or "I miss you so much". Recently, he left me a message (I am actually not responding to him right now) that he wants to share his life with me in the USA but has not actually provide me with details as to the cost of plane tickets and when I asked him when he wants me to visit he responded that like in the summertime...? Wouldn't he want to see me sooner if he truly wants me like he texts he does? Another (and last thing :P) thing is that he states that he misses talking to me but throughout the years that I,ve known him, we only talked on the phone twice, Which makes me confused again about what the heck is going on...lol. Makes me question whether or not he really likes me. Ok, well, that's enough of my rambling. Maybe someone on here can offer me some clarity or guidance or just tell me I am being unreasonable and demanding too much and to get off my high horse...? Thank you! Hope everyone is doing well :).
I think that it is for your benefit to to decide for yourself if this is worth it for you or not. There is nothing wrong with some attachment but maybe that might not be enough to grow into a relationship with this person. I do not know… as I said this is something you have to decide for yourself and only yourself. I was wondering if you could tell me what do you want at the end of the day with you and him? I see from what it looks like a lot of touch and go with connection and feelings and maybe the long distance does or has been one of the main reasons…?
I hope that I helped in anyway and I look forward to hearing an update from you :)
Hang in there!!!
Thank you so much. I think dating is tough these days. I don't know...I don't do much of it,which may be another problem but anyways, I am also concerned that C.K. (the ex) had an active profile on Bumble website when we were dating and when he cheated on me, he ended up travelling the world with this other woman, which is hurtful. I am not as financially stable to be travelling like that-I haven't even been on a holiday since 2004, so. But yeah. I am just giving it time. Trying to sit back. He has been liking my Insta posts and writing me like "hey" lol but I am just relaxing and going out with friends and not caring so much. Weird how in my first relationship I had avoidant attachment style and now its been more on the anxious end...? Ok. Thank you again.