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LDR bf (26 yo) hanging out with a new girl friend: boundaries?

Posted by
CALLONGAN
on Mar 30 2019 at 20:36
Member since: 27 January 2019
Long Distance Relationship advice I'm (25f) in a Long Distance relationship and my bf (26) started to work at a company where he met this girl. After a week the girl moved to another company but they went out twice as coworkers(technically ex-coworkers) in two weeks. When I asked him, he said they had been texting every day, and the girl suggested to go to his house to cook dinner together. I said "I'm not comfortable, you are not working together anymore and this looks like a date to me". He says they are just friends and he is meeting her anyway because if I trust her, then it is OK.

I have never had issues with him about other old female friends he hangs out with every couple of weeks as those are old friends.

Based on this info:

Q: Would it be OK for you if you were in the same situation?

LDR bf (26 yo) hanging out with a new girl friend: boundaries?
Reply from
LILY31
on Apr 1 2019 at 10:20
Member since: 08 September 2016
Hi

No I personally wouldn’t be too happy. Often you instincts are right when it comes to this kind of thing. It’s fine for guys or girls to have friends of the oppersite sex, as long as it stays that way. Sometimes there are signs that need to be paid attention to.

It sounds like something been going on for a while wether it’s good friends it sounds like it’s turning into something more or has done already.

She left the company, and they still see each other? She’s going round his house for dinner, so they are alone together? I think I’d be more annoyed that he ignored that fact you told him you were not comfortable. Have you spoken since?

LDR bf (26 yo) hanging out with a new girl friend: boundaries?
Reply from
CALLONGAN
on Apr 1 2019 at 14:42
Member since: 27 January 2019
yea they were coworkers for only a week. and now they have been hanging out one-on-one twice, and now the dinner stuff s making me crazy. Honestly I get pissed off when he says "we are just friends", because I also have male coworkers and we hang out in groups and never one-on-one unless they are old colleagues and we know each other for sometime, but never hang out alone with a new guy I just met and specially when we are not coworkers anymore.
LDR bf (26 yo) hanging out with a new girl friend: boundaries?
Reply from
LILY31
on Apr 1 2019 at 16:40
Member since: 08 September 2016
Hey,

I could understand a work group thing, that’s socialising and getting to know people. but one to one alone? Nah. He could be pushing your buttons to see how you react. Maybe he’s insecure. I know this all to well, my ex did this too, when he went to uni, which is one of the reasons why he’s an ex!

But dinner alone together makes it sound like a date night.

It very easy for him to say things like, ‘we’re just friends’ and ‘you should trust me’. For you, its not exactly reassurancing.

He shouldn’t be making you feel uncomfortable or worry. He actually making out he’s seeing someone else closer to his home. Whether he is or whether somethings actually going on, it’s a sh*tty thing to do.

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