My partner is moving away, should I end the relationship now?
ROSA - Apr 12 2019 at 10:30
My boyfriend and I are coming from different countries but we both live in England. We have been together for a year and we are in our mid thirties. I’d like to settle down and have kids and he knew this from the beginning. A few months ago he found a great job in his home country and he decided to move after 10 years of living in England and he will be moving within a month.
Initially I was not happy about it but I tried to understand and support him and I agreed to move to his country after 2 years as I can’t go with him now.
He thinks we can make it work by being positive and visiting each other quite often but I believe this will be difficult for both us to travel every month or even every two months for 2 years. To me it’s not very realistic.
A few days ago he asked me how I feel about this situation as he will be moving soon and I said I’m not happy but I won’t give up on our relationship and I will support him. Then he said he will come back to England if we couldn’t cope with this situation and we will live together here until my contract ends then we will move together. However, a day after he changed his mind!!!
Since then I feel very unsure as I feel he is not able to make a decision! How can I trust someone who changes his mind over a night?! We have a great relationship and we love each other but I am not sure if this is a right decision. What if I stay with him one more year and he decides to make another change or what if one of us can’t cope with the situation! I don’t wanna loose another year!
first of all - did he just tell you he was moving or did he say " I have this great opportunity but it means moving, what do you think?"
Because do you want to be with someone who will make these life changing decisions without consulting you? Because to me that is a deal breaker.
He seems to be calling all the shots.
You could take a break from one and other and see if you want to reconnect after the year is up? Whatever you decide it really needs to be a joint decision that both of you are happy with else it really does not bode well for the future.