What do I do
I need some advice..... This guy I have known for 30 years and been down for the whole time is gonna make me go off on everybody.... He knows I have him no matter what I mean I have never left him hanging or done him wrong.... I am the one who got him out of jail this time.... Well when I got him out of jail we were good.... I know he is not a one woman man or so I thought... anyway he met a girl called me on the phone and wanted me to met her so here I go.... ok I meet her and we both explained to her who I was I am his homegirl, his best friend, his ride or die, his girlfriend, his wife if he goes down on some years.... she said she understood so all was good then about 3 days later I hear they are together as in no side pieces just them.... and this dumb ass is gonna take her out of town with him while he goes to work pipeline.... I told him you don't know this girl like that he said I will get to know her... Alright I have been really aggravated with him and he knows it.... I will not sleep with him anymore I am not as nice as before... I have put 30 years in on him and some bitch he met on line for a one night stand is getting the best of him.... I saw him earlier and he said we have got to talk about this so ok let's talk.... nope he is still avoiding that.... but I know what I want to say but kinda scared too because somebody is gonna get there feelings hurt.... He says he trust me more then anyone and would do anything for me.... well all I want is respect, and half of the love I give and show him... And ask what is wrong with me.... why do I get pushed away every time he finds a new whore of the night.... And who the fuck will be there when he goes back to jail/prison..... yes I love him he says he loves me but we are not in love.... all his friends and his son tell him he would be better with me but he always goes for the stray homeless ones and over looks the one who actually gives a shit about him.... anyway I do not want the I am stupid advice I want real talk...I know I am a dumb ass but I will never turn on him just need to back up and be heard.... thanks for letting me rant!
What are your feelings for this guy?
Just understand - he does not love you. He needs you. 2 very different things.
If I was to give advice I would say forget him - but 30 years is a long time and I understand life is not that simple.
but yes I agree - don't sleep with him anymore. Maybe just try being friends? But will that hold you back from finding someone who actually loves you and doesn't just use you?
We had a long talk and both said we are gonna remain best friends 30 years is a long time of friendship and secrets... after our talk I guess you could say he went ghost and he didn't speak to me for 3 days then on the 4th day he got arrested and of course called me then.... I answered and I let him have a piece of my mind but I helped get him out..... I got fucked in the process but that is a different story.... for a different time!
So he got out of jail we talked again still the agreement we are just friends and he loves his girlfriend ok well he is with this girl and all is good.... I take them where they need to go get what they need .... but during all this I keep telling them I need gas for truck cause I spent all my money on getting him out of jail.... so after running them all over the place I have no gas no cigarettes not a damn thing so i am stuck at home and pissed so I send him messages telling him I thought we were friends how can he do this to me... bullshit like that.... after a day of this he replies back I got you back off give me time... I have known this dude 30 years so I backed off a little... anyway come to find out him and his girl had a huge ass fight so he was running cause she called the law but that got settled and Friday night me and him went to make money.... it started out normal just 2 friends hanging out well a few hrs into it he looks over and said some shit about hooking up... I said remember we don't do that nomore and he said I know but we gonna end up there before the night is done and yes we did... I know he can't stay away... he says he loves me and yes I love him but we are not in love... I vouldnt live with him because we would kill each other after about 48 hours together we have got to take a break.... our time together is usually great we talk laugh and have the best sex.... like right now we are together but as soon as the work or whatever is done we will go our separate ways till tomorrow when I have to take him to get shit done! I will always have his back but I can't do the half ass having mine and the bitches before our friendship.... there is love there but not sure what kind or how much on his part.... but he knows who to call to get shit done