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Am I just too torn to commit?

Posted by
BEWILDERMENT777
on Apr 17 2019 at 17:08
Member since: 17 April 2019
Relationship advice Been dating same man for several years and we love each other. We don't live together because of me - in particular, at first I wasn't ready to make that commitment emotionally (for the first 3 or 4 years) and the last year is because he was in a bad place (lost his job and only source of income). Since then, he's employed and seems to be back on his feet - BUT, he has only a very modest amount saved for when he (can) retire(s) and I am very comfortable financially and can retire in a few years.

He is very good to me and my adult kids and is a very good "relationship" person, which is hard to find as we get older.

I had resolved in my mind that we won't live together until and unless I am fully comfortable with the idea.

Last year, during a time we were not seeing each other for a short time (I needed a break from his drama), I met someone else. We only had one date but it was incredible - we spent the entire day together. He and I have a lot in common as well including the fact that he is a professional (like me) and has his own practice (like me). He is very stable financially from what I can gather and he seems like a really nice and thoughtful man. He's been divorced a while and has 2 grown daughters with families of their own and he is close with them. However, after the first date, I told him I couldn't see him at that time because I was getting over another relationship (the truth). The other issue is distance - he lives about 80 miles away (a 2 hour or little less drive). I know LDR are tough but he only works 4 days/week and my schedule is a bit flexible as well.

A few weeks ago, something made me reach out to him. He was very happy I did so I assume he is still not in a relationship. He wants to see me again and I'm tempted to do so even though I'm still in my "old" relationship.

I feel so guilty but don't I owe it to myself? Does anyone have advice for this type of situation?

Am I just too torn to commit?
Reply from
SUPERSARAH
on Apr 28 2019 at 19:09
Member since: 18 October 2018
I would ask why you are still in your old relationship? You say you love each other but is that true? and if it is true, is that enough?

When I read your post I get a sense that the way you feel about this "new" man is better than the way you feel about the "old" man?

So is that because the new guy is novelty, or is it cos the old guy is not the right man for you?

what is old guy's "drama?" got any examples???

If you are being tempted to look elsewhere then something needs to change in your old relationship? either it needs to end or you need to feel happier in it - which will come down to both you and him. Don't be the person who creeps around behind his back though cos that won't make anyone feel good.

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