I am currently married and have been for six months. I have been with my husband for almost 3 years and I found out 6 months into our relationship that he was living with his ex-girlfriend as he told me he was living by himself. On a weekly basis he fights with me and leaves the house for weeks at a time. This past may I have had back surgery and I cannot tell you how many times he moved out when I needed him this past Christmas that was in the hospital and he was nowhere to be found. 6 days into our marriage I was watching TV and I saw him run out the door with all his clothes cursing at me telling me he wanted a divorce and he did all that so he could go to his brother's wedding and I wouldn't be there but his ex would be. Two and a half weeks ago I was watching TV in the bedroom late at night and I got a phone call from him which he was supposed to be in the other room and he called to let me know he was done and he was over and he left me. that was a Friday night on Sunday he asked me to pack his stuff and put it outside and take a picture which I did he came back on Sunday and try to bring his stuff back in and I told him no not until things are done and one of them is he has a switch his phone carrier so I can block his exes put his house on the market because his ex still lives in the house switch all his mail to our home because his mail still goes to his home with her and bring all his clothes. For Christ's sake were married I didn't see him for two and a half weeks until this past Monday he begged me to come back to him and promise again he would never leave me and today we got into an argument and he just didn't even show up I kept calling and texting and not one word.
I am sorry to say but I think this is a losing battle.
He seems to have at least one foot still stuck with the ex. The behaviour you have described is inexcusable and not the actions of a man in love with you. Sorry to say that. You can carry on this way for the next 1,2,5, 10 years if you like but don't expect things to change.
My advice would be to get rid of him the sooner the better. He is emotionally manipulative and abusive. I know it is really hard but it will be the best thing you ever did. I have been there.