Feeling low and friendship issues
For about 15 years I had no friends. Not really by choice...just life I guess. Was feeling really lonely and for the last two years I have met new people and we are in touch quite often. During the 15 years, I also didn't celebrate my birthday...which is by principle fine with me because I am a Christian and don't really believe in celebrating birthdays (unless it's someone else's) but emotionally I honestly wanted to go out and do something (whatever...whether just a coffee or more...no gifts necessary). There are some issues with these friends I do feel. It's kind of overwhelming. We were supposed to go out for brunch at the beginning of March as a birthday treat for both myself and one of my friends but that fell through somehow. The two friends also ditched me last summer when they went to Wasaga Beach without considering me as they originally invited me to go and then they cancelled and then the following week went without me...was really bummed out cause I haden't had a change of scenery again in over 15 years. Just feeling overwhelmed...want to stay positive about these two ladies. Think on one hand they are 'real' friendships as they are perfectly imperfect but I am also a bit drained (other issues as well I didn't mention here-one of the friends is 70 years old-I am 38-and she wanted me to clean her apartment and pay me...basically use me, which I did not allow...I offered to help her out as a friend not a cleaning lady but I am not sure she gets it). Anyways, wanted to vent as I am in the middle of changing therapists. If you wish to comment please feel free. Thank you. Best wishes.
That must be really tough. I have had a similar experience for the past year or so but to go like that for 15 years is unimaginable. You are obviously a strong person. Sounds like you need to branch out again and find a few other friends who are more sensitive to your needs and won't trample on your feelings. I am not saying to get rid of the friends you have made, just have options. Maybe join some meet up groups? what about your family? what are they like?
I have terrible relationships with my family. They have narcissistic traits (not all of them but my parents do-I am the only one seeking therapy and going to get help to deal with my issues). The rest of my relatives live in Europe and I was there last in 2005. Thank you for your response. I will try to expand my options and join some other social groups.