I am 19+ years old girl. About 3 months ago I met a guy online and what started as a friendship became an emotional connection. He is 28
(am sorry this is too long )
Well , I am 19+ years old girl . about 3 months ago I met a guy online and what started as a friendship became an emotional connection. he he is 28 but looks so mature. still single, a businssman. when he says he is 28 i will admit i was little apprehensive on writing him coz he is too old than i .so i didn't reply him after that . but after a while he wrote me again. so i thought to write him back. he is a very active guy and hav a lot of friends including girls.
but we have never met in person. just talk on the phone and text. but yet we havent done phone sex or somthig .
He said he broke up with his X Gf in 2008. it wasnt approved from his side as well as hers due to a nationalty .
But when i asked he said " Yea i do think of her... I love her so much. yea i do have her no, "
Recently while i was browsing the net i found a dating websaite there was a prfole of this guy. so I set up another fake email address and emailed him pretending to be another girl ,named Nimmi , I have never done such thing before i just wanted to get to know the real person,To find the real person inside...so so i strated to talk about sex ! but realy disguset the things we talk .he statrd sending me porn vidoe clips !! and he asked me to send him too .but i dont have those stuffs in ma pc either i hate seniding such things !!! i dont wanna stir him up!!! but he was insisting so i sent him soemthing called, sex games.
.on december 31st he went on a trip . he said he is going there with his friends. but i was doubt. i asked him arent there any girls going on the trip ?? but he didnt give me an answrs for that Q. after i asked severl tiems, he said No onyl his best firend and another guy firend and his wife. .
but he said the truth to "Nimmi". he said ,he went there with 2 guys and 2 girls.!! and i( Nimmi) kept asking Qs. he said
""yea, do hug them kiss them, make out. it is lots of fun Nimmi. and when you have no other agenda behind it is just fun.i didn't hug both. one was with ma friend and orther one was with me.. you know just nice to hug and sleep. specially when it is damn cold. . putting your arm from inside the jacket and touching and making out my friend only met them. then we got closer. met over drinks and parties"""
i was shocked to hear these things. i wept bittely over da night i found this..
that very day i asked him whether he has aonther girl except me . i asked it over and over agin but he talked other craps and didnt give me an answer .so i stoped talking, and writing him .
but however i droped him a mail I tried to convince him that he broke my heart. and was trying to make him feel guilty, but alll my efforts are in vain. i am sure he knew why i stoped contacts with him but he tried to put all faults on me coz i didnt tell him what happend properly and straight. I honestly don't see it will work out well if i tell him all these stuffs by mailing or on the phone.it will just make the situation even worse.
he is a boozer and do smoke as well.he has told me that be4. He said to Nimmi he used to go clubbing and casino's..and he has been to prostitue centers...and said it happns only if is too drunk..he has been with 14 or 15 pros.!!! I was shocked to learn all these things.
when Nimmi asked about the girls he associte he said ""i met one online,( it's me ) the other over a missed call .
the very day i talked with him on the phone he had received a missed call, so he rang back... he said Nimmi, ""it was a girl with a nice voice. so dropped a sms and she also responded... dont know how she got ma no.."" she dont have internet facilaties so he havnt seen her .but he takls with her!!but he still says am the only girl he know and talk with !!!!!!
yesterday he said to Nimma """ Other girl told that she'll meet him on 1st of Feb.. and will update me . and said Hope it'll be fun """"i feel realy disgust on him!!!!
he is still keeping the connection with his X !!!now she is a married & has a daughter. but they still meet up,talk , texts, when ever they can & when ever they wanted!!!
To Nimma he said he met her recently at her place."" might meet up with her for lunch tomorrow. am waiting for that'""
he further said ""no i couldnt meet ma ex Nimmi.she wanted to meet up last week, but didnt respond after that. so even i didnt bother her.should ring her and see. but just few weeks ago when we were texting in night , accdiently he sent a text message that he sent to his X gf. when i asked what is this? he said he met her that evenig at a suermarket. but it's not the truth!!! he met her at her place and i think they went shopping!!
i talked a lot about keepnig conection with his X . he said """Yea i do think of her..I love her so much. yea i do have her no,"" but i said if you still have feelings for your ex, then it can be very dangerous for your present relationship. Don't use the old excuse that your ex girlfriend is ur friend Ex' means that the relationship is over and she should move on and so should you.
then he said """okay i'll only have you"" what a great liar he is!!!
He is 28 outside but inside still 18 years old boy!! he behave just like a 18 years old your boy!!!
since the beging he asked me to com out and spend a day with hm he said we will go shopping, have lunch at a nice place ,go for a movie and , a dance.
neverthless, I am not the type of girl who would sleep around with. I just want a guy to love me, hold me stay only with me, I know it sounds cheesy. But that's me . n that's what i want. Life is not all sleeping around. partying. but i know it might be fun but we should not do that all our life. should live life to the fullest .we only get one chance at it.so should not waste it doing all shits all life long. that's how i feel . I only want to love and be with one person . i don't wanna be a part time lover.. I don't have the energy to maintain multiple relationships. I want to focus on and satisfy one individual.
when Nimma asked about ( that girl who met online / me ) he said """i dont understand her. She doesnt tell me what is wrong with her.just tell me that she's mad with me.."""
Nimmi asked him do you love her? then he said
"""No didnt love her, but i liked her. cant fall in love without seing right???...i dont know whether she loves me or not... think she's kind of syco"""
.but mayby yeh am kind of syco but it is HE who made me fall for him!!! da way he wrote the way he talked the htings he said ,made me fall for him !!! made a crush on him!!my heart is too sensitive easily fall in love or get emotionally attached, to a person almost instantly who shows caring , and a affection to me.without thinking whether that person suites me or not . coz i have nobody in this world. to care aboutr me to love me ,after my father. maybe i think too much of da love of human beings.
I always end up feeling like I'm a joke to him . now i understand perfectly I am completely a joke for him . am just a freak for hom I'm very, very ashamed of myself
this are one of the reaons he made me fall for him. he said
"""I told you I’ll have you, I told I have a crush on you, I told you I like you, I told you I wana see you….. and I told so many things which I meant"""
"""OK i'll only have Deal????"""
"""No, i havent associated or dated anyone after that ( his x) you are the only one i have even communicated with... ...""""
""yea you are the only female friend i know of... """
""" after you i dont have any close female friends....""
am afraid to trust people . My heart is very sensitive. My heart has been broken before but I won't let anyone break it anymore. I dont wanna waste my life with a person who just wants to sleep around ,party , and who just want sex.
now I am sick of all these things!!
I honestly still can't wrap my mind around the fact WHY this person lies to me like this???? WHY does he behave like this ????
You may ask why i dont go meet him and talk this over. listen i am a girl who spend the whole day at home . I'm not allowed out the house because my dady is over protective. and either i 've got no reson to go out thats why i could go meet him up. but i hope to meet him someday and reveld the truth i found , I have actually caught him lying to me and cheating on me .without any proof of your accusations. but i have proofs. When i finally come clean and tell him everything I 've found out about him, I will printed out the conversations with Nimmi and everything he said . so that I have proof.
I am feeling extremely heartbroken, please give me advise what should i do now ???? i cant continue writing him and talking with him. he will tell Nimmi the things he did when he met that orther girl on february 1st.!i i dont wannahear them ! To Nimmi he tells everything he did with his X. i feel very uncomotble when reading those stiuffs. they hurt me a lot. I am gonna stop the contacts with him . i sent a mai ltelling him that i'll be out of coynrty for 1 month. so then i can stop writing him and talking with him untill i get a chance to meet him . but i would continue writing him as Nimmi. event though it's weird and hurting!
Dear people i am under a lot of presure so please dont give me a rude answer.
(((((i live with my fahter sice i was 4 years old. . my mother is separetd . I dont have any firend to talk about these troubles. am a loner. i cant tel these things to my father. hope you understand. . but i hold these burdens anymore. thats why i' thought i ' would write this)))).
please help me to get over htis diffifult and painful situation....
i want some advice. PLEASE HELP ME .... your response will be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for reading
First thing You are a very sweet and sober girl .
Out of 100 friendship which started by chatting only 5 are genuine.Otherwise in most of the cases either guy or gal is fake. Your case is also same.Dont start liking some body just because he is very good with you and always make you feel special but take time try understanding the people meet with him and dont show all your emotion at same time.As you are an emotional girl so you are easily carried away its OK but then take a lesson and dont share everything to a person you meet(on web) because if the person is really so nice he dont need to search friend online. As you live alone and you didnt have much friends.Why dont you make some girl your friend first ,share your emotion to her and all because in that case you dont need to spy on her.But if you make a guy your friend and start liking him then your expectation will go high on him.A gentle request to you dont start trusting any one on net directly (I might be wrong) because most of the people on net are there just to kill their time and have fun(something they cant do with their normal friend).Hoping you understand what I want to say.As I told you earlier also you a sweet and sober girl you will get some good boy as friend anywhere.Have a great life ahead.
I just want to thank you for your wonderful reply. It was exactly what I needed to hear! Thanks so much for the insight on redirecting my thoughts.
yes you are right,I should , move on. i thought he has fallen for me too..
now I must take a leap back into reality, but i can't help the way i feel and those feelings are valid, however, I knw should stop wasting time on someone who doesn't want me and suites me.
i am only wasting my time and my emotions. i'll only be causing myself heartbreak and throwing myself into confusion i know I must learn to deal with reality n accept it.i pray to God and ask him to make it go away and am sure he will.
thank you so much for your kind words .. they are much appreciated.
and I am certainly going to take your advice! Thanks again. Take care.
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Dear,I'll make this very short.I can tell you are a young girl and you need to embrace the fact that you are beautiful,you do not need to relate with that guy because he is not a nice person and his not contributing anything positive to your life,time is worth way more than you can imagine but that doesn't mean you should rush through life.You did say you prayed to God and that's great.If you haven't ask him for a friend thank him for sending you one.Take the wonderful time you have and improve your already wonderful personality and trust me you won't have to look for friends because they will look for you.Stay safe.Jenna.
Thanks. Your advice was perfect and I really appreciate that you took the time to respond.
I am certainly going to take your advice! Thanks Again. take care.
Don't Worry, be happy, be strong. My father left me when I was born. some men are very bad. It's a good thing that you made Nimmi account and got out the truth. Now everyday a beautiful sun rises, and marks a beginning of a new day. A dead thing never rises again it just rots, so don't look at dead things. Be full not empty. Be Smilling not sad. If you want to make friends make a pen pal, it's always a good experience. You get to know about other people and their lives. Penpalparty.com is a genuine site. But anyways. Remeber Love is a verb, it's a doing word. Love is only proven through sacrifice, not through talks. A mother's love is one of the purest form of love I have seen (in my case) because it was filled with so much sacrifice. In love there is no expectation and no demands. In Love what one cares is only about that smile that you have on your face. Love is not even closer to pleasure. Love is happiness and there is a hell lot of a difference between Happiness and pleasure. Love never makes you weak, it makes you strong. That's all I know.
Thanks. yeh i think i have a posted a profile on that penpalsite. your advises will really help me get through this difficult time. they are much appreciated. Take care.
All guys between the ages of 18y.o-30.yo act the same.. Once guys hit 30 about 35% typically start growing up.. But guys at any age have the same mindset..
And you're 19 so 28year old guy isn't that big a deal.. I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 27
I didn't read the whole thing you wrote. I read alot but noticed there was a long ways ta go so i stopped but were you both even together or were you just someone he met on the net? I think you're taking it way to seriously and dont tell him that you made a fake account pretending to be another girl because that will just creep him out lol.