Do I settle or move on?
I’ve been with my boyfriend for several years and most of them have been good years. However I have taken short breaks from time to time because I became frustrated with him not for filling his promises to me in terms of getting his financial life in order so that we could move forward together.
At this point he’s sort of pressuring me to move in since his lease expires in a few months or he would have to renew his lease. I’ve already made it crystal clear to him on several occasions that I could not unless he is fiscally responsible and transparent so that I knew he had something of his own in case there was a rainy day. For the record I am fairly well off with having worked my whole life and saved money for a comfortable retirement Further we are both close to retirement age however he is five years older than me.
He inherited some money sometime ago and has used it for paying all the bills but after we just started discussing with together I told him he needed to build on those funds for himself since he has no other assets. He has used some of the money to for vacations and the like which I tried talking him out of it and he seems to use some of it to pay some of his van bills although he tells me that he’s doing very well in his bank account.
He also promised to do better saving. When the money was transferred from the original inheritance trust account to him he didn’t deposit the whole amount in savings. He promised last month after I told him he really needed to build up his savings to live with me that he’d do better. But he didn’t. Also confusing given the fact that this last month I have paid for everything that would typically be his responsibility such as his mothers birthday gift and a wedding gift that’s i only was invited as a guest, airfare for a wedding that I’m invited to only as a guest later this month and a charitable donation for one of his friends I don’t even know. He did mention to me the other day that “he was running short“ in his account. I feel that he has deceived me in the past and still deceives me but more importantly we’re just as importantly I am very concerned about him moving in and giving his precarious financial judgments and condition.
Even though we love each other and I know he truly loves me, do I still move on with him because at the end of the day I would like to ultimately live or marry somebody. . Is it a continued deception to tell me that he is saving money or saving money but at the same time he really isn’t saving any money?
I believe this guy is a con artist. Should you allow him to move in, it will be a big mistake. I believe you already know he can't be trusted. You've already started to pay for things he's responsible for. So STOP, you may Love each other in separate apartments.
To tell you "he's running short" NOT YOUR PROBLEM. A person who deceives you can't be trusted. My guess he will continue to con you about "saving money". At this stage of your life; you don't want someone to come in and "run through your money.
I believe it's better to be single and secure than married and broke. You've worked hard to attain finically security. Stick to your guns - Say What you Mean; and Mean what you say.