Marriage problems... again
Please help. I have just discovered my 56 year old husband has been accessing porn for the past 5 years. I have always had my suspicions that he was hiding something from me. I often thought he was having an affair as he had not been interested in any intimacy with me for the past few years. We have both been married before and have been together 13 years. Two years ago I discovered messages he had sent his ex girlfriend. He told her I was boring and the only reason he married me because I had blackmailed him into it. This was a total lie and he was very apologetic when I confronted him. He pleaded with me to forgive him and promised he would be totally committed in our marriage. I asked him was there anything else he wanted to disclose to me as it was important to be truthful in a successful relationship. He assured me there was nothing physical causing him to become aroused and stated he was just lazy. I told him how I was feeling insecure and unattractive due to the lack of attention. Promises were made and we sold our house and relocated almost 2 years ago. Unfortunately things didnt change despite my suggesting date nights,watching porn together etc and I gave up in trying to initiate any intimacy. I increasingly felt unattractive, insecure and became more anxious and depressed. I have been getting counselling for the past 4 weeks and have been finding this has been very helpful with dealing with my situation. I found the content of the porn my husband viewed very distasteful as it was mostly Asian schoolgirls he had been viewing. Although the sites were all legal the girls were dressed in school uniform and treated in a submissive degrading manner. When I confronted my husband about all of this he was very apologetic said he had been having erectile dysfunction problems and had been avoiding being intimate with me out of embarrassment. I told him I was very disappointed that he could not have been truthful with me about any problems he was experiencing as I had often said I would be understanding. He says he is going to see his G.P and for counselling but I am now finding it difficult to believe him and trust him.
Do you even care about your husband and how he feels?
I think you are being selfish, self-centered and unempathetic.
When was the last time you put on something nice and tried to seduce your husband? When was the last time you gave home a blowjob?
When was the last time you were nagging and complaining?
I bet that the latter comes up more often more lately and more frequently.
And regarding the porn: please don't be prude in top.
Every man watches porn. This may be a shock to you but it's (almost entirely) true.
If he whishes for something exiting and young the way you come across it doesn't surprise me.
You should be thankful for him to watch porn instead of him cheating or going to a hooker for his needs.
I am sorry to be so blunt, but this is my own honest feedback.