Breaking up with someone who is no good for you
I have been with someone for two years but we have recently broken up. At the beginning it was typical relationship al happy, he promised things and did everything right. However as time has gone on everything he promised never went ahead.. e.g trips away was let down day before my birthday, date nights, etc..When I get into arguments about this his answer is go and get someone who will do these things for you then.
He has strangled me a couple of times and grabbed me by the throat to the point where he has left marks on my neck and I have had to cover them up with make up. The last time he did this was a couple of months ago but since then I’ve tried not to get into any serious arguments with him face to face.
We’ve recently had a argument but usually when we argue he ignores me for weeks or days and I feel like it’s as a “punishment” so the last argument we had I said we need a few days a way. I reached out to him and his response was I love you but I don’t want you so you will have to wait so I ended it there because I don’t feel like I should be a option. I know most people will be thinking good riddance and you should just move on but it’s hard.
When we are good we seem to be really happy around each other and always so nice when we are not arguing full of compliments, tells me he is nothing without me and really affectionate. I have always been independent and was single and happy for four years before I met him and I just want to get back to being that but just don’t know how to. All my friends seem to be in happy relationships now and starting families and I know he isn’t the one for me but it’s so hard when you know you’ve let someone in and you just have to start again.
If he wasn’t so aggressive and angry when we argued I know things would be better between us but his anger is hurtful and scary and I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life being scared of someone who I am in a relationship with and some of the things he has flipped on me about are ridiculous Any advice??
U deserve so much more than this. The fact that u r scared to go into arguments because of the risk of him hurting u. You need to get out of this relationship. Its not going to work. He sounds controlling. He is using u. You will end up a nervous wreck or worse. I get that it's hard, as I am sure there r nice times, but u will always b walking on egg shells. That's my advice.
Thank you, I do agree these are all things that have crossed my mind before. It’s just so hard because he isn’t controlling in some ways like he encourages me to go out and see my friends and encourages me to feel comfortable in my own skin and tells me how “amazing” I am but it just seems to be when he is mad he brings me down and doesn’t care how upset I get and if I try ask him to do something like a date he tells me to go find someone else. Maybe I am better off away from him
Babe i dont know what to say cause i am in the same situation right now and this is the man i want to settle down with :( i hold onto the best moments we have, cause i am deeply inlove with him but i am afraid of him, i am afraid of him hurting me, being strangled. i have experienced all of this before and i am going through such a horrible period whereby i am crashing down. Before that happens to you, find strength to run away...it's so hard honestly but he will control your whole life eventually and you will be miserable. we need to learn to be selfish...
What do you want?