I have been with my husband for 30years. He is 72,and I am 49. Most of our marriage has been fine. But over the years there has been incidents that have made me think that things are not right. This has been photos of young women, taken without them knowing,cam corder fortage of young girls, especially close ups of their bottoms. When I found these and confronted him, he is upset, remorseful, doesn't know why he has done it, I forgave him. This happened years ago, but last month. I had my sister 52, neices 24 and 27 stay for a week. A few days later after they had returned home, I checked my husbands mobile. I don't know what made me check it. But I was horrified to find photos of my neices and sister on there. The photos again was taken with out their knowledge. Again it was of their backsides. Obviously dressed. I felt sick. To make matters worse my husband was going into hospital a few days lare for a major op as he has cancer. I confronted him about the photos. He said sorry, doesn't know why he did it, says he is not a bad person. I told him how upset I was. He said if I didn't forgive him, he wouldn't bother having the op, and just live with the cancer till it killed him. I said he had to have the op, for the sake of our two grown up sons. So I said OK. And let it go. He had the op,and hopefully he is cancer free. Its been 5 weeks now. But I can't get the photos and what he did out of my mind, I am so hurt and angry. Even worse as it is of family. If I told my sister etc, it tear the family apart. I feel like I will have to take this awful thing to my grave. I can't seem to let it go.
Just to make it clear, when I wrote young girls. I meant young women. Getting back to the story. I feel like I was emotionally blackmailed into forgiving him and letting it go. Because of the situation at the time with the major op and the cancer. What could I do. Know one else knows. As far as he is concerned it's all forgotten. Do u think I have forgiven him too many times. I have so much to loose. Family, home. I feel by not telling my sister etc, that I am allowing this behavior to continue. Please help