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How do I make up for hiding my engagement from my best friends

Posted by
on May 20 2019 at 18:38
Member since: 20 May 2019
Emotional advice I've been best friends for more than a decade with two people from school (let's call them Jane and Lara). We've been single since about 5 years (all three of us) and have always spoken about taking the future slow. About 6 months ago, I started talking to a guy and got into a long distance relationship.

Things really clicked (and I mean Really) and we started discussing about settling down in about a year or so (I am 29 and he is 31). I am someone who is not very good at handling big news like this and struggled telling my friends. A week or so into this, I called my friend Jane and just slid into the conversation that marriage is on the cards. Mostly because I know it's too fast and was worried what their reaction would be.

Jane was not very happy with this news and we got into an argument. Post which, I didn't have much communication with her for about two weeks. Later on, both of them didn't speak to me and then told me they feel they aren't important in my life since I was hesitant to share such big news with them. And also, they feel I am not available to them as a friend when I am too caught up in things going on in my life (reference to the two weeks silent treatment).

I know I was wrong, but it's not because they aren't important. It's because I was freaking out myself. The stress of thinking about the possibilities of marriage over and over kept me emotionally isolated (which is how I usually handle stress).

They don't believe me about this because from their perspective there isn't really anything for me to be stressed about and was no excuse to abandon my friends. What do I do? How do I make things right? They are still speaking to me, but things just aren't the same.

How do I make up for hiding my engagement from my best friends
Reply from
on May 23 2019 at 09:08
Member since: 08 September 2016
No I don’t think you were wrong. Maybe you just needed to me to get used to the idea of getting married?

These two girls done seem like real friends to me. They should be happy for you, not fighting or giving you the silent treatment. What is there issue? (Other then possible jealousy.) do they not like you bf?

How do I make up for hiding my engagement from my best friends
Reply from
on May 24 2019 at 13:37
Member since: 24 May 2019
Personally, if your "friendship" doesn't handle you being dishonest from time to time you are better of without them.

I they can't forgive you for not telling them everything, if they won't feel the way you are stressed then what do they care about?

Obviously not you.

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