Moving out of the friend zone?
So, I have known my friend for over 10 years and I have tried to unsuccessfully move onto more.
We hang out pretty much every weekend and the other weekend, unprompted my anything I said she messaged.me ”Missing you already xxx” - the three xs are normal. All girls I have spoken too say this is over the friendship line.
She is away this weekend and talking about taking me where she is one day because I would love it. She does unquestionably crave my company saying shed rather be with me and be on dates and she does seek my company despite the fact its caused friction with her parents (I lived with her brother and his wife who is also my friend and Hs parents view me as having taken the wife's side in a dispute) but she lied and told me her parents were ok with it (I got the true version from my other friend)
I am not allowing myself to become emotionally invested having been rejected before but that comment she made is bugging me and I do wonder if she's starting to see me as maybe more than a friend? Am misreading this because of a deep seated desire in me to move out of the friend zone here?
Rejection isn’t nice and it sounds like her parents (possibly brother and wife too) are difficult?
It sounds by sending those kind of messages that she could be interested and is making it clear she wants to spend more time with you. But you're never really going to know. I think the only way to find out is to ask her and then if her feelings are the same take it slow, tell people together in your own time that you're dating. Really, it’s no one else’s business but your own.
she does say she likes spending time with me and would rather spend time with me than anyone else. On the other hand im weary of asking as I have before and shes rejected me and to be honest as she sends these kinda signals frequently I end up annoyed and feeling led on - her parents would not be happy. Her brothers wife thinks H is kinda using me to avoid getting into a proper relationship and I do kinda have that at the back of my mind - she maybe living out a relationship with me kinda and honestly that is at the back of my mind but then again H and her brothers wife have always competed somewhat for my affections - I am not emotionally investing here, I just kinda wanna know
Honestly I think H thinks sometimes about giving us a go and wonders what it would be like then recoils
What do you want?
Good question. I'd like to progress things and see where they go but honestly given the past I am unwilling to go to her - she will have to make it clear to me that's something she wants
Too much drama and baggage from the past! You really want to go there ?
How about distancing yourself from the ENTIRE group and start something new with a fresh gal?
"given the past I am unwilling to go to her - she will have to make it clear to me that's something she wants“
Just to make sure she understands that, have you told her this?
No I haven't I'm in my bunker and clinging to it lol, if I could show my hand without showing it I would and were this a.professional problem is have the smarts to do that but I don't when it comes to my feelings I dont, this is what I don't like about it the vulnerability, I've been on my own three years and I've developed a rough and tough shell and she makes me vulnerable dumb and weak and I hate it
How is knowing what you want and communicating this clear and purposeful weak dumb or vulnerable?
How come you hate that?