My boyfriend and I have been together for several years but we've know each other for decades including our families. We got together when we were single. I know he is generally a good man and very family oriented.
He wants to live with me in my home and get out of his rental. One side of me would like that since I do desire the companionship and feel lonely in the house sometimes. It would also move our relationship forward.
He has offered to pay me a certain amount (far less than 1/2 of the house expenses) and put a few hundred more in savings for "us" to use for vacations or house repairs, etc. He makes substantially less than me. I have several concerns:
I know he lives paycheck to paycheck so what happens if he "runs short" even if his expenses would be less living with me; (B) how do I control the "shared account"? Whose $ is that?; and (C) can I rely on him to pay me what he promises given that I know there are things that come up which require $ like new clothes, insurance costs go up, etc.?
He said it's a win/win for him to move in b/c I'll have extra $ to spend for hh expenses but the amount he is talking about isn't going to make a difference, with a due respect and when he told me the amount he said "it's like getting a windfall of $XX because no taxes are taken out". In other words, he made it seem like a lot more than what it is.
He has historically been terrible at $ management but has greatly improved and I would say he makes ends meet but isn't setting the world on fire. He has in the past promised to save more $ but he hasn't - he is still saving the same amount as last Summer primarily b/c he doesn't make that much in light of his regular expenses and recently only got a modest raise.
I don't want him to move in if I will be carrying the load relatively and I know once he moves in it will be very hard to get him out.
Does anyone have advice on this type of situation?
Just to make me understand correctly:
You want to take a decision that you feel is not fair, cannot be changed and gives you no control concerning the outcome?
The possible benefit is moving the relationship forward? <-- I don't understand what you mean by this exactly
As well as not being alone so often.
Concerning the not being alone: are there other possibilities for you to spend more time with each other without making it a permanent decision?
Concerning the money: if you want to safe for trips then each of you can do it. Maybe it would also help his money management problem if he took part in a reasonable way concerning the bills?