Should I undo the breakup?
I was with my girlfriend for 8 months. I’ve never been with anyone like her, she’s humble, giving, thoughtful, supportive. There was just this vibe between us two. She was in an accident two months ago, was hospitalized for 1 1/2 months for a spinal injury. Just prior to the accident her and I got into an argument about me not calling to check in while I was away visiting my daughter, and during that time she gave me money as a gift for my birthday, to pay for a license exam for work, and she brought up that I was adamant about calling to follow up about the gift she gave more so than us just talking to see how the other person’s doing. We broke up, but both of us still admitted our fault in how we handled the situation. We essentially broke up but it was nonetheless petty, that’s something we both agreed on, once she did come home after the accident. Soon as she came home I was there to see her.
A few days later, she was rehospitalized. Her sister texted me from my girlfriends phone to let me know that my girlfriend was complaining of serious back pain during yoga with her friend and they had to bring her to the hospital. Her sister asked me when would I be able to visit, and since I just started a new job and was booked all week and literally couldn’t just take off but I planned to see her on the weekend. The next day her sister let me know they would allow her to go home but she would need surgery, and my girl was coming home early the next morning. Here’s where things went left.
The next day at noon my girl called me, I said hello but heard nothing and the call failed. She popped up at my house in histerics saying I hadn’t been calling or answering her texts, she was acting crazy. We had disagreements before but she had never done this. She accused me of not being there for her, and she had sent a bunch of texts before she popped up. We argued. I said I would text her when I left work that night. Then she left.
For days she sent long texts, but I ignored her because she was acting crazy. Then she started asking for the money back again because she needed it for surgery. She asked me once and I ignored it, then the next day I guess she was pissed so she threatened to come to my house about the money. I was done. Why? Because I felt she will throw in my face this good deed for the second time and she had seemed aggressive about it. Then she started saying she was sorry she didn’t mean it. I told her I’m done because she brought up the money shit again and the crazy stuff at the house. I even told her I never wanted to speak again.
Three weeks later, her sister reaches out from my ex-girlfriend’s phone. I thought the worst, that she passed. This is what it said:
This is her sister, Alicia. Mook has been spazzing and going off on everybody for the past three weeks. She’s been overtly confrontational, obsessive, paranoid, mood swings, not sleeping, etc. It started when she came home from the hospital the second time, and all of us assumed she was losing it because the likelihood with surgery. Randomly coming to my job, calling everybody about the surgery and even argued with her best friend, so we knew something with her was different. We know her to be fiery, but level headed and playful and it’s been quite the opposite.
Yesterday was her surgery prep and her surgeon caught on that she was too jittery and easily angered, so he questioned recent medication. They learned at her last hospital stay weeks ago, her neurologist wrongfully and overly prescribed two different antidepressants instead mild painkillers and she’s been hell on wheels for us since. They postponed this surgery and put her on IV last night, to allow the medication to diffuse, and we’re blessed that’s shes woken up several times and is acting and looking herself again, but we have to proceed with a medical malpractice suit against the neurologist who prescribed this. I’m not trying to pry; however, can you recall her having been very edgy or notably anxious and argumentative in the past three weeks? Namely since she came home from the hospital the second time. Any information would be appreciated!
Then I started thinking... She spazzed and I assumed she was being psycho. It started to make sense because when we had the foolish breakup the last time she admitted her wrong as did I and she let things be, no fatal attraction bs. What do I do?
Send flowers. Tell her you care about her and cant wait to see her. Ask her sister when would be the best time for you to visit.
Let your ex explain everything. She may or may not want to start over.
Nah dude, leave her alone.
You weren't able to cut her a break for being emotional during a stressful time until you decided she had an 'excuse' that suited you.
Everyone is strong at times and weak at times.
You said yourself she's a good woman. Doesn't she then deserve some understanding and love that is a little less conditional? I'd say either give that to her or let her find someone who will.