Then the bombshell, he was in a relationship and had a child. I called it off, we never saw each other but stupidly he convinced me that I made him happier and all the usual.
Few months ago he told me he was depressed and had suicidal thoughts. I helped him as much as someone who isn’t really with someone can. I said would it be easier for him if I wasn’t in his life and I’d walk away as his health was more important and he said no, without me would be worse.
2 weeks ago I was on holiday and he had been texting as normal. Then he sends me a text saying his relationship is over, he wouldn’t tell me why. The texts went back and forward and then he said I’m sorry, meet me on the other side. I can’t go on, my time is up. I constantly called him and he wouldn’t answer. Since then his phone is off, hasn’t been on WhatsApp, snapchat. He doesn’t have Facebook. I’m at a loss as what to do.
I’m checking death notices daily, he was a contractor so I’m not sure where he was working. I’m praying that he has just ghosted me and if true well obviously never see him again. I just need to know if he is dead or not.
Sorry this is so long but the not knowing is killing me
First, no matter what happened, you did what you could.
He should have looked for professional help.
Give it a rest. Checking death notices everyday won't really help you.
Just understand that he made some decisions and that's it. His responsibility, not yours.
That's aburden you don't have to carry on your shoulders.
Have a nice weekend.