So here's a little background info. I'm a guy and my best friend is a guy who lives in another state. We've known each other for several years via PlayStation and just recently over the past few months, have had the opportunity to finally meet in person. (10 years in the making and he's visited here 3 times and I've been there once). It's only after our long awaited first meeting that we made the "official" jump from friends to best friends. We just have a really good connection with each other, despite the fact that I'm a gay male and he is a straight male.
It's the weirdest thing now though. During our years of near daily chatting on PlayStation, texting, and occasional phone calls, I can only recall only once when we weren't on the same page and stopped talking for a year. (On his behalf, which he admitted he dropped the ball and extended the olive branch a year later). Now that we've met in person, there have been like THREE times (over the past 2 months) where he and I got into it and I was ready to call it quits.
So here is the most recent issue. It's a matter of our texting conversation and knowing when the conversation is over and not being ignored. Over this past week alone, I can count about 4 times where we are in the middle of a conversation or it's just getting started and he just flat out does not respond to the last thing I said. I'll give it plenty of time and then give one to two follow up texts that are basically like hey, you still there.
We've had this conversation before and this was actually one of the previous fights. We've also been in this scenario a few times before as well. He will say something like "Well I don't check my phone every single minute" (Well if you are in the middle of a conversation, shouldn't you be doing that?) OR "I didn't feel like what you said was good enough to continue the conversation" (which really irked me. He said this all because we were talking one day and he told me what he was doing and I responded with "Oh I see"
OR "I didn't have time to respond because I was busy" (To which I said was perfectly fine, but please don't start a text conversation if you are busy and know that you are going to write two sentences and not respond to my message until 10 hours later. JUST DON'T START THE MESSAGE TO BEGIN WITH. JUST WAIT.)
I should let everyone know that he does NOT work or anything. His typical daily routine is chauffeuring around his family members that he lives with and running errands for the family. (Because no one other than him can/will drive for various reasons). Anyhow, I honestly believe that he is dropping the ball and making me feel like crap.
When we talked about this in the past, he was very defensive and that's what lead to an argument. Eventually he said that he would do better but I'm not seeing it. And yes, I have a history of depression (which I've been fine over the past 10 years up until these recent months) and yes I'm a loner and extremely short on friends. In order to spare my emotions, I'm thinking about either ignoring him or cutting him off completely. I don't know what to do. The incident last night.... just started a text conversation, exchanged like four sentences, then he stopped replying. And we were both online on PlayStation so in between my reply and then follow-up reply #1 and #2, I could see he was switching out games so he was obviously still there but didn't answer. He completely left me hanging last night. Today I followed up and sent a "hey" text message. Nothing. Few minutes later sent a message that said will you please talk to me. Finally got a reply a few minutes later that said hang on he was driving. Like an hour and a half later, got a text that he was at the mall with his siblings and cousin. I asked if he was able to tell me what happened last night and he has yet to respond. That last message I sent was 8 hours ago and despite politely asking if he can let me know what happened last night, I still have not heard back.
Please help guys. What's your advice? And incase anyone is wondering (to affect what advice you give), no I am NOT in love with him.
So you text with your friend and then he doesn't respond and you think about quitting the relationship?
Then Skype with him instead if texting doesn't work
Also don't be such a pussy please.
And I mean that as a constructive feedback.
If I had your problems I'd be lucky.